My Forever and Always (The Phantom of The Opera)

Chapter 31 - Complicated Emotions

Author's Note: Featuring a beautiful art I saw on Instagram, 100% recommend her work! Sorry for the lack updates. To make up for it I came back with a lengthy-ish chapter. Thank you for tuning in again. AND this story hit 5k reads!!!! Hope you guys like the chapter, enjoy. :D

Erik's POV

I scrape at the last remains of pasta on my plate while sipping on my wine to wash down the savoury flavour of the sauce. I simultaneously nod away to the shortcomings of the staff at stage direction, as described by Clarissa. She speaks will exuberance and I see a twinkle in her eye as she rambles about her stage plans for the upcoming show. She's truly passionate about it, there's no doubt, I've seen it countless times to know what every little action of hers could mean. She likes to scrunch up her nose slightly when she sees something silly, her mouth slightly agapes when she seems interested, she lightly touches the back of her neck when she's shy, she pulls away her mouth sideways flashing a confused grin when she feels embarrassed, and only once have I seen her expression of adoration – etched in my memory from ten years ago. She looks straight into my eyes, her brows relax and she smiles widely and her front teeth show slightly, while she tilts her head to her side – for she takes her sweet time staring at my eyes – the world around us painted in hues of sunset pink, at the terrace.

When she talks about herself, her likes, dislikes, and things she is passionate about, I can hear it all day long. Conversations with her stimulate my mind and make me feel at peace. She placed her hand on mine when she cracked the punchline of her joke, I threw my head back to laugh, I could hear the beautiful melody of her laugh bouncing off the cavernous walls, riling up something warm in my chest. If someone would tell me yesterday that I can possibly feel this kind of happiness, I'd kill them for such ruthless lies. Life had been a torturous hell until I met her. She says she is not any angel, saint, God or saviour, but is she an answered prayer to my soul's deepest desperation? She told me how hurt she was when I tied her down with me on that day ten years ago. Back then my naive-self had tried to physically restrain her, I believed I could somehow cage her up in my world and make her fall in love. How wrong I was. How utterly ashamed I am of hurting the one person who made me see a purpose in life. How could I break what swore to protect with my life? I truly deserved her walking out of my life ten years ago, I see it now.

She snaps her fingers at my face and placed a hand on my shoulder trying to get my attention. I was breaking away from the daze of my thoughts when I heard her faint sweet voice saying, "Hello, earth to Erik, Erik are you even listening? Erik? What are you looking at? Erik? Oh my god are you feeling sick?"

When I look back at her, she had placed her palm on my forehead and then on my cheek, worry laced her expression as she tried to check my temperature. When she sees I have my attention back on her, she quickly moves her hand away. Only a part of me subconsciously grabs her palm and placed it back on the side of my face. I realised I've been talking to her without my mask all this time. Her eyes widen when I grabbed her hand.

"Uhmm.. my apologies, er- I was thinking about something else. I'm fine, you may not worry yourself." I managed to fumble. Oh, the power her presence has on me, I had forgotten, only to be reminded in the form of such an embarrassment.

"Oh, cool cool cool. I guess I was rambling on for too long all by myself, you must have been bored. I just lost track since I'm talking to you after so long, hah." She quickly gets up to take the plates and utensils to my sink. I quickly step in to take away the plates from her and carry them myself. We wash our hands and were walking back towards the pianoforte, when the tight feeling in my chest was burning from the inside. I couldn't resist it anymore and uttered the words, "Who is that man?" My voice was much more deeper and quiet than I intended it to be, but my half whisper and raspy question echoed off the walls and caught her attention.