What's for Breakfast?

Thirteen: We Were a Team

The following week marks the start of my new project. Thanks to the previous collaboration between Kurt's architectural firm and mine, the process of collaboration and paperwork has been streamlined. Nina informs me that I won't have to handle other clients for this project, which is a relief and lightens the load on my shoulders.

I'll be working on the VIP suites and the ground floor restaurant, while Lisa, another designer from another team, will take care of the other rooms and the lobby. We've been introduced before; she's slightly younger than me and very cheerful. I think we'll get along. The team will have five people in total: two architects, Kurt and Daniel, two interior designers, Lisa and I, and then a civil engineer named Dennis who we won't be seeing often.

It's been three days since the afternoon Derek and I drove home together. Derek still makes breakfast, and I bring dinner. But we don't eat together anymore. He arrives a little late, typically around 8 PM, and waiting for him might send the wrong message. Not literally wrong... I don't want him to know about these feelings I'm harboring.

This can be a good thing for me. We're not fighting. We're just civil, like mature adults. Besides, out of sight, out of mind. He does his job, while I do mine.

Scratch that. I hear him when he arrives at the unit. I hear the water running inside the bathroom when he showers. I hear his footsteps when he walks to his room. I hear him when he speaks to someone over the phone. I hear everything, as if there are invisible antennas sprouting on the top of my head meant to catch some sort of a Derek signal. The pathetic side of me just wants to confront him. To ask him what's going on. If we're cool.

It's like another barrier has been built between us. Only this time I'm unsure of how we'll break it. Over and over, I collect myself together, and I choose not to say anything when all I ever want is to ask why.

Why are we falling apart when we haven't even begun?

******

Kurt and I meet at a coffee shop halfway between our offices to discuss the hotel project. I'm light on my feet! So far, I've only designed houses and condominium units, and the Main View Hotel will certainly be a great addition to my portfolio. More importantly, it's an opportunity to take my mind off Derek even for just a tiny bit.

"So, are you excited?" Kurt asks, taking a sip of his cappuccino.

"I am. I am grateful you picked me as part of the team. I haven't taken on a project this big," I reply.

"To be honest, I've been following your career. It wasn't just lately." Kurt purses his lips. "I wondered how you were."

I don't mind that he checked up on me. In fact, the corners of my mouth twitch.

Fine. I really have self-esteem issues. I admit that a crumb of attention, especially from someone who dumped me, makes me feel better about myself. I hate it, but can you blame me?

"I was totally impressed. And since we are in a similar industry, and we knew each other, I figured that working with you will be... Pleasant. And easy. I know your drive. You're motivated and you get things done."

The way his eyes glimmer makes me blush, although again, it's mostly because I like to feel wanted. But that's all there was to it.

He's not the guy I'm fascinated with.

"Thanks. I also wondered what happened to you. You were always so focused."

"Connections were also important," he confesses, a grim expression settling on his face. "I hated to rely on anyone to get me into firms, but at some point, I had to."