What's for Breakfast?

Twenty-Eight: Running in Circles

"Sam, wait!"

Derek runs after me. He grasps my wrist and pulls me to face him.

"Let go of me," I snap. He does as he's told, his arms up in the air.

We stand near the infinity pool, a few meters away from the event center, the shade of blue bouncing off our clothes and our skins. I hear the music and waves of laughter, though my focus is on the terrible twang on my chest. How I'm so pissed at Derek. At everything. 

"What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you, okay? About last night."

"Didn't you hear me? I said I don't want to talk to you," I reply, voice sharp.

He blows out of his cheeks. "Why are you so angry, Sam? Is it because of Sara?"

"No, Derek. This isn't just about her." 

"Then what? Are you mad because I kissed you? I asked for your permission—"

"This is about what you're doing to me!" 

Derek flinches, grinding his teeth.

"Why did you want to take me away from Philip?! Who told you that you have the right to decide for me?!" I yell, fingers trembling. "Stop confusing me, Derek. Stop meddling with my life... Stop making me feel like we can be more than this. Whatever this is."

He loosens his tie before ducking his head, and he appears so hurt it also breaks my heart. But I can't show any weakness. I jerk away from him.

"I'm sorry, Sam... It's not that I don't want us to be more than this. I have feelings for you."

My tears form. "You have to be clearer than that, Derek--"

"I love you," he says firmly.

My knees weaken as I swallow the lump beginning to form on the back of my throat.

"I've loved you since we were in high school, and I know it's ridiculous, but it's true. And yes, Patrick knew about it all along," he groans. "I should have been the one to tell you. Letting him do it for me was another big mistake."

He motions toward me. "I loved you then, and I still love you now."

I take one step backward and clutches my stomach with one hand as it flutters at his confession.

"I was a coward. I couldn't confess to you before. I thought you wouldn't trust me because I didn't have a good reputation. And now you might think that I'm making excuses, but I... I've made a lot of mistakes." 

Derek stares down at the water. "I... I'm so embarrassed. I don't know how to tell you this."

My brows furrow. "What are you trying to say, Derek?" 

Out of nowhere, the song we danced to at senior prom plays in the background. Neither of us say anything at first. Derek's face turns solemn as he raises his chin, his orbs burning with yearning and remorse.

"Will you dance with me... Again?" 

I cast him a veiled glance. "We don't have enough space here," I retort. The floor area is too narrow. One wrong step and we'll fall into the pool.

"Just... Can we just forget everything for a little while?" he begs. "Please, Sam."

I heave a sigh and hesitantly allow him to lock our fingers together. He kisses my knuckle. I blush. He leads my hands, wrapping them around his neck as he touches my hips. It electrifies me, but I manage to fake calmness, our eyes reuniting. Derek began to move like how it was years ago, and I follow his movements.