What's for Breakfast?

Twenty-Nine: The Homewrecker

"Things got worse in my senior year in university. My Mom got diagnosed with cancer, and my Dad continued seeing Donna. He went with her once for chemo for the sake of it, and he did it because he had to. Not because he wanted to."

He straightens his back and crosses his legs as he gazes up at the sky. "Those were my worst days. But I dropped by your house as often as I could. I wanted to remain on your radar."

"Derek, you were never not on the radar," I divulge, picking at my fingernails, cheeks a little flushed.

He smiles at that one. "Then you started dating Kurt. He was the guy who truly bothered me."

"Because we lasted three months?"

"Mm," he hums. "I kind of realized then that making them choose wasn't right, so I stayed put. Watched you from afar. But Kurt knew Jim. He approached me, and he threatened me that he'd tell you what I did. That scared the heck out of me. So... I paid him. I paid him a year's worth of tuition fees. It was more than enough so he'd leave you alone."

"Tuition fees, huh?" That burns. That's all I was worth, I suppose.

"I know what you're thinking. You're wrong," Derek says firmly, intruding on my train of thought. "It wasn't you."

"It hurt me, Derek. Those things you did behind my back. Those boys left without any explanations, and during those times, I thought there was something wrong with me."

"I have no excuse. I'm truly sorry." He bites his lower lip, pawing a hand through his hair. "When I learned you were already meeting Kurt... I panicked. Patrick and I were already talking about how we'd tell you, but that threw me off. I suddenly didn't want you to know. I was afraid you'd hate me."

He sips his coffee. "I'd only arrived home. We were just beginning to get reconnected, somehow. But I was struggling at work, and then Kurt came into your life again."

"You were afraid he was going to tell me?"

"Yes."

"But you told him to take care of me." The hurt creeps into my voice.

He lets out a harsh breath. "Because he talked to me. That day he came to pick you up. He wanted me to leave the unit, so I did. That was why I left abruptly."

Rage stirs inside of me. I can't believe I spent so much time dreading Derek's departure I nearly lost half of my body water. God, this is frustrating.

"I thought it was the right thing to do. I couldn't tell you the truth, and I couldn't let him tell you the truth. I thought I could handle it if somebody else would hold you. I just didn't want you to hate me."

I heave another sigh.

He fidgets. "Let's circle back to what I was talking about earlier."

Derek pins his arms against his stomach, his focus on his knees. It feels like a bomb will be dropped on me any second.

"My father remarried a few months after Mom died, and I didn't want to stay at the same house with them. I just couldn't."

"So you left?"

"Yes. I stayed for a few weeks at Aunt Carol's, then I left for my MA."

"I know you think I didn't like you enough to stay... But I did. I was only too angry. I was angry with my father for hurting Mom. For breaking her heart when she was exhausted fighting for her life."

Derek gets up, brushing away the dirt from his pants. "Come on. Let's go."

We throw our cups into the garbage can and head back to his car. Derek resumes driving again, and I notice him swallowing repetitively, possibly contemplating about the next thing he'll say to me.