A Song of Silence

Chapter 94: A Surprise in the Dark

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"Azazel!" I say, utterly surprised at the fact that the love of my life is standing right in front of me. "W-what are you doing here? How did you find me? Didn't you see my letter? I tried to explain everything I could. If you're here to drag me back please let me explain first. I have to fight today, to save those children. I'll return with you after, I swear it." My words come out in a panicked rush. My carefully laid plans all blown to shit by his arrival. I couldn't let him take me away before I fought. I had to save those children. Azazel walks towards me and I instinctively back up. When we are both inside the room, Azazel closes the door behind him.

"Always so quick to think the worst of me, firefly." He says quietly.

"What?" I ask, utterly and completely confused.

"I appear here out of nowhere and you think I am here to take you away? To stop you from protecting people for my own selfish reasons?" He asks.

"Well, yeah. You must be very angry with me even if you had seen my letter," as I spoke I realized the improbability of my words. Azazel spoke and seemed calm. He was not tense and angry. Not one bit. Still I sputtered on, "And the children I stashed at my mothers village. They seemed more important than finding me because I swore to return to the Capital if I survive the challenge." I look down at my hands that I am nervously fiddling with and quickly snatch them apart to try to hide my unease.

"Your letter explained everything and I am not angry with you Aerilynn." He says quietly.

"B-but why, I kkk-. I kkk-." I take a deep breath to try to force out the words, "I killed your father." I say shamefully.

"And my mother shared the memory you showed her. You had no choice. It was a mercy to end his life."

"But I am the reason he was that way! I tried to make it painless and ended up making it nothing short of torture." I argue.

He sighs and puts his hands in his pockets, "You are making it very hard to not be mad at you, Aerilynn."

"Good, I deserve to be hated for all that I have done."

He looks at me in shock, "You don't actually believe that, do you?"

I bite my lip, "Of course."

He smiles softly at me before running a hand along my bottom lip, "You're biting your lip again, firefly. I thought I told you I knew when you lied because you always bit your lip." I laptop biting my bottom lip immodestly and step back from Azazel.

I glare at him in annoyance, "I am not lying."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Okay, so maybe I am. So what?"

"So, it means you don't truly blame yourself nearly as much as you let on," he responds.

I cross my arms over my chest, "Your point?"

He leans closer until I can feel his breath on my face, "If you don't hate yourself nearly as much as you let on, then why should I?"

"Because I killed your father and deceived you all this time."

"You already gave your reasons for what you did and they were hard, yes, but necessary. I would have made the same choice if I had been in your place and I wouldn't be feeling as guilty as you are now about it." He responds calmly. With no retort left, we lapse into silence. I avoid his eyes because I know he is right and he calmly tries to capture my gaze.

"Why do you call me firefly?" The question slips out of me before I can stop it.

"Because you are flighty, but light up the night in the darkest of times," he says simply. "Not to mention your lightning pairs nicely with a firefly because they are lightning in the night." With this answer, I finally gain the courage to meet his eyes. Their silver depths seem to look into my soul, but it is not a shrewd and calculating observance as it used to be. Now he looks at me with acceptance for all that I am and all that I have done. All our secrets are bared in front of reach other and both of us accept each and every one of them. Well, almost every secret. I still haven't told him that I love him and I don't know if I will ever have the courage to do so.

Both of us seem content to study each other as we wait for my possible demise. Most couples would be declaring their undying love for each other and sobbing like blithering idiots. We were never those people and we never felt we needed to be in front of each other. The he world had molded us as we were and it was too late to change who we were, despite past reservations. The silence went on and we both were content to do nothing but wait. "I love you," I blurted out. His mouth parted in surprise. I had never said those words to anyone, let alone him. He no doubt expected to never hear those words from be no matter the many years he had previously intended to spend persuading me to say them. Despite any reservations I might have previously had about saying those words, there was no time for them now. I was due to go to my possible death in a matter of hours and there was no time to waste of nervousness or reservation. The scuff of boot alerted me to an intruder. "Go," I whispered to him, "portal out of here." The he doors handle started to turn, "Go, you fool, or I will never get to say those words to you again." With great reluctance, he portals out of the room before the doors fully open.

It is no surprise to me that my father, the Grand Assassin stand on the other side. He looks warily around the room, "You talking to someone, darling?"

He had heard some of our conversation? Fuck. I decided to play it off. "What, you've never talked to yourself before?" His eyes narrow at my obvious lie, but he lets it pass. "What do you want?" I ask.

His eyes narrow on my new attire, "Where did you get that?" He questions.

"A wise leader never gives away their supporters," I say nonchalantly. I would never tell him that my previous outfit was just reversible. It would take away all the fun. Again, I repeat my question, "Why are you here?"

"A father can't just visit his daughter?" He says innocently.

"Not when they are about to fight to the death."

"So pessimistic darling. All you have to do is surrender to me in the first match and I will spare your life. No harm, no foul."

I scoff, "And spend the rest of my life running from and fighting your assassins, no thanks. Not to mention as soon as you got your latest whore bred you'd come dispatch me yourself. I'd rather end it now, that way my allies will kill you if I cannot."

He mulls over my words before rage eclipses his features, "You are a fool to the end, my dear. You cannot best me."

"Nor you me," I reply calmly. "Now it will be a test of who wants it more. The male who lusts for power that is not his own, or a female that fights to protect all that she loves." He flinches at my use of the word love. Not once had I ever said those words to him despite our hundreds of years of knowing each other, while I had come to live others in mere months. It no doubt rankled on his pride in a way he would never admit. He had spent centuries making sure I would love nobody but him after years of trying to get me to love him. And yet, in the end, after all his efforts, I still loved something other than him. He hated it. He reviled it. He wanted whatever I loved dead. And somewhat ironically, I now fought him to protect all that I loved from him. It was nothing short of hilarious in my opinion.

"You will regret this," he says menacingly before stalking off and slamming the door behind him. I knew I would. If he won the duel, then I knew I would. But I would win or I would die. There was no other alternative