Just for This Year

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Sunday
November 17th

17 Days After

Lila had been trying to get herself to go to the door now for twenty minutes. Every time she tried, she thought of a new reason not to. She knew this was inevitable and she couldn't continue to avoid it. Sam stood behind her patiently, not saying a word as he watched his sister debate whether to follow through with the plan they created. Lila knew he wouldn't blame her if she turned around. But she knew she had to do this.

She eventually walked through the front door, holding her breath as she did so. Sam was only a step behind her, but stayed out of view as they walked in. Their mother was reading on the couch. She must have not heard them walk in because she didn't look up. Lila cleared her throat, making her lift her eyes from her book.

"Can we talk now?" Lila asked in a small voice, leaning against the entryway.

Her mother practically fell as she stood up from the living room couch, nodding quickly. "Yes, yes, of course."

Lila moved to the side, revealing her twin behind her who gave a sheepish grin. "Only if Sam can be here."

"I thought it would be best if we talked alone," Lorena gently requested, walking towards the two.

"I need him here, please," she denied with a shake of her head, giving her a pleading look. It was with Sam or not at all, and she was hoping her mother would realize that. "It affects him too."

She nodded slowly in agreement, wrapping her arms around herself. "All right, why don't you both sit down then."

The twins walked in, sitting on seats near the couch. Lila ran her hands down on her thigh, not making eye contact with their mother yet. She wasn't sure what would happen if she did. She was feeling so many conflicting emotions and didn't even know where to start. She could feel both their eyes locked on her. They all sat in silence, waiting for Lila to say something first.

Lila opened her mouth to say something, but stopped short. She found herself staring at a family photo on the table holding their television. It was one of the last pictures taken before their dad died. She couldn't help but think of the life she could've had with her birth parents. She wondered if she had any family from them— any siblings or maybe some cousins. Grandparents even. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know if she did.

"Who were they? Do you have any idea?" Lila asked in a gravely voice, unsure of where to begin.

"No," Lorena confirmed apologetically and her voice caught in her throat, "it was right after I gave birth to Sam. One of the nurses I'm friends with came in and told me about this beautiful baby girl who was in the nursery by herself. The parents had left without a trace, and she was gonna be put in the foster care system. I was on my way to go check on your brother anyway, and then I saw you."

Her mother took a moment to pause, blinking rapidly. Lila simply watched, trying to decide whether she believed what her mother was saying or not. Based on how emotional she was getting, she assumed it was genuine. Her mother was known for getting choked up when she talked about her children's birth. She talked about this the same way she talked about her other children.

"It broke my heart to see such a beautiful little baby like that. There were parents all looking at their baby through the glass. But yours weren't there. And you were right next to Sam, god, it was... I can't even describe it," Lorena trailed off with a gentle laugh. Lila closed her eyes for a moment, feeling tears sting her eyes. Sam huffed out a deep breath, clearing his throat quietly. "The two of you were laying there and were just staring at each other. It was as if you two really were born together. Nothing we did could tear Sam's attention from you. And then I was able to hold you, and I knew instantly that you were my baby."