Devil Woman

Chapter 25

Ivan

I couldn't stop thinking about Nyra. She was the only person I thought about night and day and day and night. She occupied my bloodstream, my thoughts conscious or not, and I could feel this woman with every breath I took.

She was in me, embedded in my very bones and stitched underneath my skin, and it ached. I ached every day that I lived in this world without her. I never in my life thought I could ever feel such pain and love for someone.

My heart was so full of this woman that it was overbearing, overwhelming, and so filled to the brim with love for her that it didn't even feel like it belonged to me.

It felt like a vessel I carried in my chest solely to remember her by. Some days it felt like pure anguish to remember her, while other times, I could sit and remember what her laugh sounded like, and I'd smile.

It was just one of the many things I missed about Nyra. Her eyes were at the top of my life. I missed the sensuality they held, the danger they offered, and the beautiful deep brown color of them all. I missed her lips.

I missed the softness of them and how they moved and slanted against my very own. I especially missed the sound of her laugh. I missed the euphonious sound that rattled my heart and my very bones every time I heard it.

This woman was created from endless skies and galaxies, every love poem ever written, and every other beautiful thing on this Earth. She was a mixture of the prettiest flowers and the shiniest constellations.

I could sit there and think about Nyra, and every time I was left feeling empty, cold, and pathetic. It almost felt like my life had no purpose.

If I could have her, then I didn't want to be on this Earth, breathing and living. I didn't deserve to. I could have never guessed that Henry was with her willingly, that he admired and fell in love with her.

I couldn't have guessed the ending. I saw her name and immediately connected the dots and made her my target. This woman only killed men and women that deserved it. Obstacles she played it off, but I knew that with every evil man and woman she killed, she was making the world a safer place.

I didn't take any of that into account when I attacked her when I set my eyes on her. I made her the enemy, my target, and now that the truth was spilled for everyone to see, I felt idiotic and foolish.

What was I supposed to do now that she was cleared of Henry's murder? What was I supposed to do now that I wasn't after her?

These past few weeks with her have been the most dangerous, thrilling, and fascinating weeks of my entire life. I enjoyed every moment I had with her and kept every memory in my mind for safekeeping. I didn't want to forget a single thing about her.

I knew I could never have her, especially with how things ended between us, but that didn't bring me anything but despair.

Loving Nyra was unexpected and volatile. There were no warning signs or blaring sirens in the back of my head. Loving Nyra was unlike anything you could ever experience or anything you could put into words.

There were no words. Loving her was peaceful yet explosive. It was like a rocky yet soothing lullaby. I went to her clubs and hotels every single night, just wanting to see her, to bump into her.

Every day I went with no hopes and came home even more heartbroken. Either she was busy traveling, or she just knew that I was looking for her and was avoiding me.

I didn't care. I still went every single night. I went to the hotel bar where we met and would wait for hours, and once I got too drunk, the bartender would call me a cab home.