On The Ice

- Chapter 16 -

Xavier

I've been worried sick.

I haven't slept, eaten, functioned, anything. It's only been two days but I really, really struggled. She could've let me know she was okay. I didn't get to the game, I didn't even know she was in the line up. Okay I did but she could've easily not shown up.

"How do you get to ask questions?" I haven't moved, I'm still stood against the doorway. I need to know what game she's playing, because she definitely is.

"Xavier, please I'm not doing this today."

"No, no. You've been ignoring me for the past two days with no call or even text to let me know you're okay! You can't expect me to have a civilised conversation with you." She looks hurt but I really couldn't care less. She's here and she looks fine, normal. She's not injured she's not kidnapped.

"I need to explain it to you because clearly you won't talk to me like an adult!" She shouts, which honestly does take me be surprise.

"Honestly, I don't want to talk to you. Why should I?" I tell her, looking away from her.

"You're not making this easy for me."

"Easy for you!" Now I'm shouting, great. "I've not slept or eaten for the past two days because I didn't know if you were even alive. You basically dropped off the face of the earth and you expect me to talk to you like nothing happened?"

"Please, hear me out. Otherwise I'm walking out and you won't hear from me again." Like that's supposed to help?

"Fine." She looks relieved and sits back down, I follow her hesitantly. "So, explain."

"I needed to figure some things out."

"That's it?"

"No, I needed to figure us out." She says and I tilt my head as I look at her. There is no us? Is there?

"Us?"

"Yes, what are we. What am I to you?" Questions, how many times?

"I don't know? What do you want me to say."

"That's not what I'm asking you." She says. I pinch the bridge of my nose, mainly in confusion. What the hell do I say? We're friends? No we're definitely more then that now. She's not my girlfriend, that for sure.

"We're fake dating."

"No, we're not. You know that, people who fake date don't fuck." I'm really holding in a groan here.

"Last time I checked, you asked me."

"Asked you to what? Fuck me, trust me I haven't forgotten." She's pissed but frankly so am I.

"What do you want from me, really?" I ask her, I sit up now. I really need to know because she's not getting anything from me.

"I don't want anything from you, I just need you to admit that we aren't just friends."

"I thought that was obvious?"

"It's different though, we aren't just friends with benefits. Are we?" She says, putting emphasis on the are we.

"What do you want me to tell you? You're not my girlfriend."

"I'm supposed to be, am I not?"

"To everyone else, yes."

"Not anymore." She says, I'm looking directly at her now.

"Hold on, what do you mean?" I notice her expression change, from anger to disbelief.

"You haven't heard or seen?"

"Now you're stressing me out even more. Seen what?"

"Everyone knows, about our arrangement." Shit. You're kidding right? Either someone is fucking psychic and and read our minds or someone has been told. I definitely didn't tell anyone.

"I didn't tell anyone about the arrangement. So I don't know what you've said."

"I haven't told anyone, anyways I'm not here to discuss that." Like that's something she can brush off that easily. However, I do want to know what she's about to say so I keep my mouth shut.

"Trust me, coming to this conclusion was a royal pain in my ass." She says, causing me to roll my eyes. "Hey, concentrate."

"I am, I am. Continue."

"I love you. I really do, and I don't mean that platonically." Shit.

I don't know what to say exactly. Hey, I don't mean that I don't feel the same way but it's so fast. Surely I'm not wrong for feeling like that.

"Xavier? Please say something." I don't, I kiss her instead. I've never been good with my words.

She definitely wasn't expecting that. She doesn't push me away though which I was definitely expecting her to do.

I climb closer to her and the straddles my lap, holding my face with her hands.

Then she pulls away, "I love you too, honestly."

"Yeah I figured." She says and she starts laughing, resting her head on my shoulder. She has a really nice laugh.

"So what now?" She asks.

"Can I be your boyfriend?"

"Shit, big decision there." She's still laughing, fuck really nice laugh it's absolutely stunning.

"Asshole." I roll my eyes at her and she shoves me, like actually shoves me.

"Yes, you can be my boyfriend."

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I'd like to say I could wake up next to her every morning, which I want to one day. Realistically we can't, we both have demanding jobs. Especially now since we're both starting to go on the road again.

Which sucks it really does, we'll just have to get used to it.

Also we both posted saying that what we had before was fake, everything. Well not everything but everything that everyone else knew was fake.

Now it's real and I honestly don't want anything else. Shit that's really cheesy, sorry.

"I'm going to miss you."

"Me too, even though you're a pain in my ass." I have to leave in 15 minutes, which honestly isn't enough time.

"Hey, I said yes to you, remember that." She shoves me, again.

"Okay." I roll my eyes at her, knocking her phone out of her hands.

"Hey!" She exclaims, reaching off the couch to pick her phone up. "I knocked it for a reason, put it back down."

"Hm, no." Asshole. That by that way, definitely won't be stopping.

I pull her closer to me, holding her side. She looks surprised for a minute but accepts it and rests her head on my shoulder.

"Even though you're an asshole, I do love you."

"Hm." I say, playing with her hair. "I love you too."

"Are you sure you have to go? You could just stay with me." She says, looking up at me.

"I do, but I could give you a parting gift."

"Oh?" She knows exactly what I'm thinking, I can see it on her face. Her cheeks have flushed a fair shade of pink all of a sudden.

"Let's go upstairs, shall we?"

"We shall." I stand up first and grab her hand to pull her up. I love her.