It was never effortless to love Aaron Warner. He was a difficult teenage boy who seemed to forget a lot of the time that that was what he was-a teenage boy. He'd always felt that loving or even caring for him would be impossible for all the world to...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
PONDERING. IT'S WHAT I've been doing the last hour or so.
Ever since I left dinner, I've been in my room. Mine and Juliette's, and she's not here. It makes me wonder where she is and whether she hates me or not. As for Isaac and Kenji, they offered to stay with me for a while because I was still hysterical after Warner left, but I declined because I needed some alone time.
As I lie on my pillow, I think of all the different ways that I could've told them about my past and none of them would include shouting or tears. Well, maybe a few but that's all. Perhaps I would've sat them down somewhere private and gotten the chance to explain everything to them in full detail, without interruption. They probably would've still been rather upset but I can't imagine a scenario where everyone would've been happy.
In a way, however, I'm relieved that I no longer have to keep my past a secret. Even if Adam made it seem like I was a slut and wicked for what I did, I'd rather everyone know about it now than have to keep lying to them.
But then there's Warner. Warner. My God, my emotions have never been more confusing than they have been the past couple weeks. Ever since I saw him in the woods that day we went on our first mission to get supplies with Juliette and Kenji, my mind has been spiraling. Bending and twisting in ways I never thought possible. And it's been such a pain—such torture to keep it all to myself. Now that it's out—even in such an unexpected way—I'm glad I no longer bear that weight on my shoulders.
Suddenly, without any warning, a memory assaults me. It's old and I think I kept it buried for so long I nearly forgot it existed. But now that everything's out in the open, I remember it.
Slowly, I get to my feet and make my way over to my drawer. It's just a drawer. I take a deep breath and open it, revealing all of my clothes. Inside, though, I know where it hides, so I reach my hands into the drawer and attempt to find it by feeling around the metal. Finally, something cool and necklace-like shaped gets caught in my fingers and I stop. I haven't touched the damn thing since I got here. I hid it from everyone for a reason—I never expected my past to be known. However, now that it is, I have no reason to keep it hidden.
Once it's out, in my hands and staring at me, I suck in a sharp breath. This is the necklace that Warner gave me the day before I found out everything. He said it was a promise that he'd love me no matter what. That, even if I one day hated him, he'd never stop wanting me safe and cared for. That he'd never be able to stop loving me. At the time it had confounded me but now it all makes sense. Maybe in some way he knew that something was going to go wrong. That he'd be found out by me one day.
Still, now when I look at it, I want to drop to my knees and sob. The necklace is small and made out of gold, a tiny sunshine at the bottom. It's so bright and vibrant and everything that used to stand for mine and Warner's relationship. What upsets me the most is that I was positive we were going to be together forever when he handed this to me.
