History Must Repeat Itself

Chapter 42

          We all stood around the open grave Steve, Lucas, and Dustin had spent the last hour digging. Eddie's body was wrapped on the ground, in one of my old bedsheets.

"Do you want a minute to say goodbyes?" Nancy looked at Dustin, Lucas, and I mainly.

"Dustin, Lucas, you guys go first," I said, clutching my jacket around my torso and stepped away.

I stopped under a large tree ten fifteen feet away. Madison wrapped her arm around my waist, giving me a side hug. Robin stood next to me, her head on my shoulder. Erica stood silently, watching her brother. Nancy and Steve stood awkwardly apart but kept glancing at each other.

Not here, please not here.

"Dustin picked a really nice spot," Robin said, running her hand along my arm comfortingly.

I looked around, the tears threatening. "He really did," I said, nodding. "I'm glad because I never would've thought of anything this good."

"Will you tell his uncle where he's buried?" Madison asked, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"One day, maybe." I shrugged. "It might be safer to let Wayne think he disappeared in the earthquake."

"Jess." We turned as the two freshmen walked over. "Your turn."

Both of them had tears on their cheeks. I rested my hand on Dustin's shoulder as I passed. I had to get through this, one way or another. Sitting on the ground, I placed Eddie's wrapped head on my lap. I considered pulling the fabric away, to see his face one more time, but I didn't want to remember Eddie as a corpse. Instead, I put my hands on either side of his face and held his jaw.

"Well, this is it. I don't know what I'm supposed to say." I smirked. "Is there an Elven chant to send a loved one into the next life that I should know? I wouldn't want you to be disappointed in me for not doing this the right way," I said with a weak chuckle. I let my hand run across his cheekbone. "I wish we had more time. I know that's cliche and you're probably rolling your eyes right now, but it's true. I got two and a half years with you. Two and a half years with my best friend. Don't tell Robin." I sighed, shutting my eyes. I imagined Eddie lying in my lap, looking up at me with a smile that said, 'whatever you're going to say, I already knew'.

"I don't know how long I've been in love with you. If I tried to think, I'd say it happened pretty close to the beginning. I knew that I never wanted to live another day without you when you tried to teach me how to play D&D. I don't know if I ever told you this, but I knew how to play. I'd almost forgotten everything about it, so I pretended not to know. You started to tell me, but you went off on so many side tangents and stories. You glowed. You were destined to be a storyteller, Eddie Munson."

In my mind, Eddie was looking at me with his mouth hung open. How dare I hide my knowledge of D&D from him? I could have played this whole time.

"But I knew. I knew that I wanted to listen to you tell stories for the rest of my life." I was tempted to move the sheet and play with some of his hair one last time. "Being in love with you was so natural. It took you so long to admit you loved me too." I smirked. "I should've guessed though. We made out a few times without complaints and from what Robin told me, you were wrapped around my finger. But I was wrapped around yours too." I sighed. "I was scared, I think. I've been burned before, when I acted on my emotions. So, I waited for you to do it. I should've realized you were just as scared. At least we got a few days."

Eddie's eyes sparkled up at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I love you, Eddie Munson. I'm sorry I didn't take the leap when I should have. You deserved more than this world could ever give you. I hope wherever you are, you're getting the best of everything. I love you. No matter what happens, I'll do my best to never forget a second of the time we spent together. I will make the people of Hawkins pay, somehow. They deserve to feel bad for blaming you."