August
The next day i don't know how to act around diere can I kiss her? Are we a real couple now? Is she my girlfriend? I've never did the whole girlfriend boyfriend thing before besides 1st grade but I really want me and diere to work out. I walk up behind diere at her locker and give her a hug from behind and it feels so right that I forget about everything I was worried about before.
"Good morning august" she says laughing putting her backpack away in her locker. Her laugh is so perfect. What the hell is wrong with me.
"Mm Good morning did you sleep well" we stayed up till midnight watching adventure time ignoring my uncles stupid jokes about not fucking on his couch. He's such a dick. After we realized how late it was I drove her home and we did the cliche kiss goodbye on the front porch thing. I definitely fell asleep with a smile on my face.
"Good what about you still tired?" She ask turning around to face me placing her chin on my chest looking up at me with those big ass eyes that make my heart do backflips when I see them.
"Nope I had the best sleep of my life" I say pecking her nose. Her face cringes in response as pushing me away embarrassed. She's wearing the necklace I got her.
"Uhm" she clears her throat" have you talked to your dad?" She grabs my hand walking us to class waiting patiently for my answer.
"No if it was up to me I'd never talk to him again". She gives me a sad look rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb.
"Does he know?
"That I might have anxiety? I asked him to go to a therapist one time and he said therapy was a scam and real men tough it out. he's a aasshole diere" her frown deepens and her brows furrow .
"He sounds like a asshole. You know my moms a nurse she might be able to help?" Her worrying about me so much makes me happy. Is that a terrible thing to say? Maybe but I don't care.
"Okay whatever makes you stop worrying so much. Im really really reallyy ok especially since I get to do this" I give her a quick kiss before pulling away and walk into class diere following behind me. Sitting next to me in our designated spots but everything feels different. I feel more aware I can feel every shift in her body I can feel when she's close or far away.
"Your uncles a real piece of work" diere laughs remembering last night.
"Yeah sorry about him I guess assholeness runs in the family" I say shrugging she laughs again in response.
"He owns a tattoo parlor right" I know where this is going she gonna bring up my art again.
"Yeah he does"
"Is that we're you get your inspiration from? For your art?" She ask still not giving up on me liking to tattoo it makes me smile a bit but it's never gonna happen.
"Yeah sometimes he lets me tattoo the costumers but my dad is dead set on me being a lawyer he'd ground me for life if he found out I even visit my uncles shop" she lets out a sigh and I appreciate her optimism my dads never gonna let it happen.
"I still think if it makes you happy then you should do it. And tattoo artist are hot" she teases winking at me and I feel the smile on my face widen. I put my arm around her waist pulling her chair closer to me placing my head on her shoulder as she reads her book and even though I don't know exactly what we are I know it feels right.
I wake up to a tap on my shoulder from diere as she grabs her stuff from her desk. "Class is over" she says tapping my shoulder again.
"Okay okay I'm coming" I stand up from my chair and follow her out the classroom.
"We need to finish the project today too" diere says reminding me and I'm not gonna lie I forgot all about it.
"Oh yeah wanna come over than?" My parents might be there and I don't wanna face them by myself but knowing them they'll probably ignore everything that happened
"Your parents?"she ask knowingly
"Yeah"
"Of course I'll come over" she says standing on her tippy toes to give me a kiss on the cheek waving goodbye as she enters her classroom.
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After school diere meets me at my house because she needed to pick up her siblings from school and by her new apparel I guess she also changed. She's wearing a floral spring dress and some converse and she looks ethereal.
"Hello" she chirps shyly holding something behind her back. I give her a kiss on the cheek before moving to the side to let her in.
"Rowan drew this for you" she said handing me a crayon drawing of me and it's surprisingly good for someone her age.
"Im gonna keep this forever tell her I said thank you" I reply wrapping my hand around diere to guide her upstairs until we're interrupted by my mom in dad.
"Oh diere honey hi" my mom waves to diere and she waves back while my father just stands there bamboozled.
"Who's this" he says directing to diere and I really am hoping he doesn't say anything dumb.
"Mom just said her name" I roll my eyes and his jaw clenches as he crosses his arm giving me a stern look.
"I mean what is she to you." He says sternly and I hate how uncomfortable diere looks so I grab her hand and she smiles up at me.
"My girlfriend" I say simply and my father looks at me confused like I was speaking gibberish or something.
"Diere you should stay for dinner" my mom finally speaks up breaking the awkward silence diere responding with a nod
"Sure" she says as I drag her upstairs done with my dads fucked attitude. As I walk into the room diere let's out a breath.
"I'm sorry about him." I say in a cold tone. Couldn't he be supportive about anything. He just had to make everything weird.
"It's okay" she shrugs. But it's not okay I didn't say she was my girlfriend for her to be treated like that.
"Did you mean what you said?" She says bouncing back and forth on the heels of her foot.
"About what?" I ask just to hear her say it even though I already know what she means.
"That I'm your girlfriend" she's so cute. Can this girl not tell that I'm absolutely head over heels for her. I grab her pulling her into me and I can feel her heartbeat flutter or maybe it's mine. I lean down closing the space between us connecting our lips. She makes a adorable sound that makes my heart melt as she brings her hand around my neck playing with the longer hairs of my mullet and it's my new favorite feeling. Her lips parted slightly allowing my tongue to slip inside as I lower my hands to the back of her waist pulling her close to me. She pushes me away abruptly catching her breath.
"Did that answer your question" I ask smugly curling a strand of my hair with her finger as her breath hitches. And for some reason I like making her nervous she always puts up the independent front so seeing her squirm is amusing.
"We need to finish our project" she walks away from me sitting on my couch opening her laptop and I can tell she's mad with me for taunting her. I sit next to her looking at her until she finally breaks.
"What?"
"Are you mad at me?" I ask pouting and I see her mouth twitch but she doesn't crack keeping her poker face.
"No"she lies "I just- I've never done this kind of stuff with anyone and I don't know what to think" she avoids my gaze so I hook my hand under her chin turning her face toward me.
"Diere can I be your boyfriend ?" I ask seriously this time causing her to finally break into a smile.
"Yes. You can be my boyfriend."
YOU ARE READING
The insecurities of dating a white boy (bwwm)
Romance"You don't know how long I've waited just to be close to you like this" he admits and it makes my heart flutter that he thinks about me as much as I think about him "I like you so much" If my smile was any wider it would be hanging off my face. "I...
