unwanted

Miss.#### & Dr.####

I slept great last night you guys. I had a little bit of fun first but having his hand create circling sensations on my back ease the tension that was there, the nerves and all. Hearing his low snores, his breathing brought me calmness for some reason.Having him in my sacred place where I rest away all my pain, sorrow, sadness, anger, my bed. That was hard for me yet still somehow easy. Under my warm comforter, my blanket in which his whole body took up made me chuckle in amusement. I wonder if I should continue on this road to this so called happiness I want that I know won't end with him.
But I won't stop it I will continue this until the end, until there is no more chance of us. It would be cool if we're to last I mean he did say he aspire to be like my dad but if I want to be apart of that it seems as though I need to make my way up because my dad did not settle for less. Regardless of how it looks or sounds I don't want to be less.

Now I'm wondering if maybe this is just physical because there are the sweet names; sexy, beautiful, baby.
But those are just names I'm actually scared that I'll get too attached and be dropped because why hasn't there been a label out. I need to know. "There will be a rumor about miss #### and dr.#### I don't know why I dropped you here".   It kinda hurt me because is it really a rumor if it's true?
Maybe I'm thinking too hard. Just maybe, I mean he was in my sacred place, no one had ever had someone in there before and in that house but I changed everything.
I don't know if it was worth it though, honestly because I was up reading and gazing and crying mentally about how unhappy I am while he lay quietly on the side of me is unbelievable.