unwanted

Imagine/decisions

Anyway y'all life update I've been getting sadder and sadder I'm never happy in this house it's only at work which scares me because I hate going to the place yet I'm going there to escape this place.

I'm laughing so hard at work but if I don't laugh I'll cry. I'm so sad.
No one but my mommy knows how I feel it's so tiring.
Imagine having a boyfriend who doesn't know how sad you are.
Imagine laughing everyday to people who have no idea how sad you are.

August 10th Monday around 7pm
So they put me out. But my father did the hard part but it didn't seem that hard for him he vigorously expressed how I had nothing and how I was living in a car. It's so heart aching.

I don't know what to do. Apparently I must better myself in order to come there. Yes I was able to saved there take my bjc's and other stuff and I am grateful for everything they did yes I shouldn't have complained to my mum about every little thing in the house but you know what? It's fine. He might disown me if I were to officially move out and that's the only thing that's stopping me right now. I don't care about no house or anything I care about my dad leaving me for good even when he already put me out. I still love him of course but I'm still scared.

We Haven't talked for a week and he's saying do I need him to put the rest of my stuff together! It's crazy and I was actually considering it. Going back but that's fine he doesn't want me there. They don't want me there. If they did they would treat me with respect.

I found two cars I'm going to pick one eventually and I found a place. But there's not a big guarantee that I will get it. There's nothing stopping me now. I will get those docs and do something with my life.

And for doc I don't see a future with him at this time. He might probably only be for a time right now in my life. But as of right now he is serving no purpose.

I'm still sad I don't know how I'm managing right now honestly I just wanna break down but I don't have the time to break down this is so insane

I've made up my mind.

Im done there

We will talk but I'm done