The Project | Larry Stylinson

Chapter 16

[Listen to 'Is this falling?' by Charlie Bennett while reading for the best experience.]

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-Christmas Eve-

Louis' phone chimed. He slowly sat up from the couch he was lying on and placed his steaming mug of hot chocolate down and picked up his phone from the table. He looked at the new notification and nearly dropped it when he read the name.

He hadn't spoken to Harry since he left him in the car park.

Harry had texted him a few times over the course of his absence, but Louis couldn't find it in him to reply. He knew he was being shitty and was just running away from his problems, too scared to face them on his own.

He had also caught Lottie's cold so he stayed home and had Liam drop off the rest of his things from school. He wasn't ready to face anyone from school yet, especially because he didn't know what Harry would say to the other's after if he even said anything, so he made sure to be in the shower when Liam stopped by.

Louis dumped his blanket on the floor and slipped his sneakers and hoodie on making his way to his front door. He hesitated when he placed his hand on the cold doorknob. Was he ready for this?

For the last three days, he'd avoided everyone and everything. He'd completely shut off his phone until tonight when he had it turned on so he could send Christmas messages to his family.

He looked at the message once more, just to make sure it was real. And surely enough, it was still there.

Harry
Please come outside Louis.
I wanna talk.
Sent 10:48 pm

Louis collected himself and slowly opened the door. The last thing that was holding him away from that beautiful green-eyed boy.

Despite knowing he would be on the other side of the door, Louis' breath still caught when he opened it and saw him.

'Lou...uh h-hi. Sorry I didn't know if you were going to come or not,' he stuttered, very clearly nervous.

'Hey, Harry. Do you want to come inside or should we stay out here? My mum and sisters are inside,' Louis asked. It was freezing outside but this was probably a conversation best not to have in front of his family. 'Uh, I think we should talk outside, more privately,' he answered.

'Okay so uh-'

'Harry I'm really sorry I shouldn't have said any of that. And I'm sorry about the party too, I shouldn't have kissed you. I saw Eleanor coming towards me and I panicked and did the only thing I could think of. I should've asked you, it was stupid and I'm sorry,' Louis said, his eyes started to get wet but he had to blink the tears away before Harry noticed.

'And I'm sorry for leaving the other day, that was unfair on you, you didn't know what was happening. I just panicked and left,' he breathed.

It was quiet for a moment and Louis was convinced Harry would be at least satisfied with his half-assed explanation and he would leave at any moment now. He gave up and let a few tears fall as he stared at the floor.

'Hey, hey, hey, hey, why are you crying Lou? It's okay, it's alright,' Harry said, taking a step closer to Louis. He gently lifted the smaller boy's chin with two fingers. 'It was a spur-of-the-moment kiss. I know you didn't mean anything by it...And in the carpark too, you got overwhelmed and I was prying. You had every right to leave.' With each word, Louis could see Harry breaking. With each word, Louis was breaking. Why did Harry look like it hurt him to say it didn't mean anything? Did he want it to mean something? God if only this precious boy knew what that simple kiss had meant to Louis. It may have initially been to keep Eleanor away but to him, it meant so much more. That was the moment that Louis finally unlocked that part of himself he had denied all these years. There were so many other options Louis could've chosen at that moment. But he chose Harry. He had chosen to wrap his hands around the taller boy's neck and kiss him. And once again, that was the only thing Louis wanted now. He wanted to hold Harry close until he was forced to let go, kiss him until he couldn't breathe. That was the only thing Louis wanted, he had finally started to accept that this was who he was but of course, he'd managed to fuck it up and now he could only dream of kissing Harry like that again.