RAGE: Consume Me || BWWM

23

A/N: Sensitive topics ahead!! The same disclaimer for Chapter 22 applies to this chapter as well.
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All Amira did was lay in bed and stare at her ultrasound picture. The doctor said she could get up and move around, but Amira was too scared to do that. She didn't want to do anything that would put too much strain on her body. Hell, she didn't even want to breathe the wrong way.

Her emotions were constantly all over the place. One minute, she felt hopeful, and the next she was consumed by doubt. Amira would wish for a positive outcome but then sink further into despair—feeling dejected and lost. She lacked optimism at times, constantly drowning herself in negative thoughts. But Amira couldn't help it. The more she longed for everything to turn out fine, the more said outcome seemed unattainable. Deep down, Amira knew she was only protecting herself. She was preparing herself for a heartbreak.

Rowan kept his spirits high despite Amira's somber mood. He did everything he could to keep her comfortable and ensure she got up, showered, brushed her teeth, and ate. For the first two days, all seemed well. Amira's bleeding stayed light, and she would only cramp occasionally. But on the third day, not even a week after her diagnosis, their fears became reality.

Amira bled so much that Rowan took her to the clinic. The doctor conducted both a vaginal and abdominal ultrasound. She also checked Amira's cervix, which confirmed she was actively miscarrying. The entire process was painful, and it was clear that Amira's baby never had a chance. That notion alone crushed her; it tore Amira up. No amount of preparation made the news hurt any less.

The doctor advised Amira to let her body expel everything naturally—no intervention. It could take days or weeks for her uterus to empty itself, so Amira was recommended over-the-counter pain medication. Then she went home to Rowan's house.

Once they arrived, Amira exited the car so fast that Rowan couldn't stop her. He eventually caught up and called out to her, but she didn't answer. Rowan carefully snaked his arms around Amira's body, which caused her to stop.

"Please," she pulled away. "I just want to be alone." Amira went upstairs and confined herself to one of the guest rooms. Rowan followed after her, immediately halting outside the closed door.

He tried to walk away, but he couldn't—not when Amira was actively hurting. Rowan wanted to respect her space, so he didn't intervene. He promised to stay by her side, so he waited impatiently—pacing up and down the hallway for hours. Her sobs eventually reduced to sniffles before she went quiet altogether, likely fast asleep. Rowan couldn't think about anything other than Amira's well-being, so he entered the room.

He spotted Amira lying on her side, facing away from the door. He quickly went to her and picked her up, immediately noticing the trail of blood left behind. She had bled through her pad and clothes.

Rowan sighed and carried her into his bathroom, stirring Amira awake as he sat her on the edge of the tub. He tried to remove her clothes, but she jerked away in embarrassment.

"Let me help you." Rowan reached for her socks first, then her bloody sweatpants. He did everything quickly, balling up her clothes and throwing them in the trash. He then removed his clothes before taking Amira into the shower.

"It's alright." He held her close, positioning the front of her body under the water. "It's alright," he repeated.

Amira kept her eyes closed as Rowan widened her legs. She couldn't look as he used his hand to wash away the blood. She had just started accepting her pregnancy, growing immensely excited about carrying her first child. Thus, she couldn't fathom the thought of her future rolling down the drain—disappearing faster than it was allowed to flourish. The image of what could've been was snatched away in the blink of an eye.