«A turncoats return»

14| Lingering Danger

Netherlands's POV

I hold Indonesia close as he is sobbing. Thank God my coat is water-repellent. This situation is so strange, and I never could have imagined I'd find myself in one of them. He really feels guilty, huh? It must have been centuries that I've seen him cry. Usually, he makes me cry. I watch his big, shiny tears roll down my coat, and I feel very bad about myself.
Damnit. I really did it- Indo is crying... because of me, again.
Great job Nether! It's so dump that my mental state went downhill as soon as I arrived here- but others mental states are getting pulled down as well and I feel like that's my fault. I am the catalyst behind it, after all.
If I never had shown up again, none of this would have been happening. Perhaps putting them out of their misery would help everyone. What? Why was I thinking that?
"I-I'm sorry-" Indo whispers through sobbing and I feel my soul crack.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he repeats the phrase again and again, grabbing more onto the fabric of my coat, making me nervous in doing something very wrong. I didn't want this to happen!
I exhale internal- pushing that feeling as far away as I can, taking on the responsibility to fix this- somehow. At least calm him, that he can heal.
And it won't help anyone if I break down as well...

First, I think about what I should do. The hugging was more or less instinct, yet I cannot deny that the feeling of having a real human in my arms is comforting, I missed it so much. She doesn't radiate much or any heat at all. Her body is cold as ice, this is a welcome change. And since Indo is willing to change, I believe it should be okay if I keep warming up to him. Careful with what I'm doing, I lean against the tree some more, giving myself a more comfortable position, then I pull Indo up that he can rest his head on my chest.
I've always been termed as a great pillow for some reason. Not entirely sure why they thought I'm fluffy(?), maybe because I'm tall and warm all the time. I don't know.
Indo is still sobbing, yet it already seems to be working as his breathing is less hitched and his muscles feel less tense. After hesitating, I slowly take his hat off and start running my fingers through his hair, like the first night. As before, it's very soft- I'm amazed. Like a cloud. I could feel this on my skin the whole day- Wait what. I feel my cheeks heating and I look away from the smaller person, back to the sun set. He had picked my favorite spot without even knowing it is my favorite. That's so sweet.
While caressing with me fingers, I keep holding him close with my other hand/arm, so he would slip out of my grip and that we sit/lay more comfortable. What a nice evening, the sun is deep red and paints the sky and clouds beautifully.

After I've mentally calmed myself by enjoying nature, I dare to look down to Indo again. I've said it already, but holy shit, I honestly never thought I'd be at this point at any stage of my life. It was always far out of reach. But here I am now anyways...
I keep running my fingers though his hair and lean my head against the tree, tired of keeping it straight over my shoulder and close my eyes, thinking about what Indo said and how he reacted to it, trying to think of an answer to my question that started this whole mess. An 'I'm not sure' is neither a yes nor no...
After some time I stop thinking, getting bored of it- I can ask Indo again later, I hope. So, I just let my eyes closed and waited for Indo to calm.
I seriously hope I don't accidentally fall asleep.

As the sun vanished completely from the sky (not sure how much time that is), which felt like a really long time, I feel Indo tugging on my coat. I open my eyes and need a moment to readjust. I must have dozen off a little. I stretch as best as possible and return my attention to the Asian Country. He looks up to me, his eyes still blood shot and glossy. His eyes feel massive to me, and it's kind of adorable. I straighten up again from leaning to sitting, running my hand mindlessly over his cheek. It's a little crispy due to all the salt. I wipe the salt and rest of the tears away with my thumb, feeling warm and satisfied inside. That is, such a nice feeling. It makes me exhale deeply. So, Indo really does make me feel something
Perhaps... it is possible. But I should lay myself onto it too much until as this is over.
Indo himself had calmed, still breathing uneven, and now he looks at me with tired, yet thankful eyes.
That's- that's good, right? I'm doing the right thing here-