«A turncoats return»

20| Silent moment

Netherlands's POV

I slip back into consciousness as my nose feels unnaturally warm, to sunshine tickling my nose in the early hours of 7am. I still feel drained from last night, my back and shoulders aching, my head hurting a little, even though I haven't consumed anything. Though I am close to fading into the realm of dreams once more, I also work through yesterday's events AFTER the disaster at America's house.
She told me to rest,
Then when I wanted to use the bathroom I saw Indo n-. I stop my line of thought and sigh. How embarrassing. I still want to sink into the floor and disappear. I wonder if he remembers? Not... Not that he doesn't look good, the moment and scene were just very inappropriate and unacceptable. How rude of me! Yet he flirted back, no that was just the alcohol. I swallow hard and open my eyes, flinching at the brightness of the room.
Hold on, I'm sure I closed the curtains last night- was someone in here?! But I locked the door. My heart stops for a moment as I ponder on the question. It must have been her, there is no other possibility.
I sigh once more, relaxing again. What a night yesterday...
Oh well! A new day, new problems I will be forced run into.
Eventually, I decide to get up, getting hungry. Wanting to sit up, I feel a weight holding me back a little and I stop immediately, even laying back down.

Oh right- I am cuddling with Indonesia. He came into my room yesterday as he was scared of that storm for some reasons, can't remember him like this from the past but oh well. I turn my head to see his head resting on my shoulder, one arms pulled to his chest and the other one spread across my chest.
Suddenly, the realization hits me over the head once again and my face starts burning, my pulse going through the roof.
OH GOD, I'M CUDDLING WITH INDO?! I REMEMBER! I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment. At least he's still asleep and wearing the blindfold I gave him last night. Identity saved once more. My heart rate slowly goes down and I shift to look at him better. He seems comfy and relaxed, even though the position he is in looks uncomfortable as hell. I have never been this close to him... well maybe for the first week when he held my hand as I had woken up. His skin is soft and I don't even see any scars anymore, they must have fully healed over time. Good. With an empty mind and no consideration about the consequences of my actions I lay my hand gently on his cheek. It feels as soft as it looks, yet it feels cooler compared to my hand, yet since inhabiting fire magic I never had to consider loosing any body-warmth, even in a blizzard. I carefully stroke his check a little, not to wake him up or anything. I get a tingly urge in my stomach yet this would be really weird, so I try ignoring it to stroke his hair a little.
I really like him, it seems.
I've seen Indo maturing during the few weeks I've spend here, yet I don't think it's enough to shock him with the reality. I fear that everything that he worked up to muster will simply collapse and therefore he'll go back to the Indonesia I once knew. I bite my tongue and try to force the depressing thoughts away. Just try to enjoy the sweet, little moments until you can't, idiot! So, I simply keep looking at him, yet soon after my intrusive thoughts take over, and I stop moving it. My thoughts part. On one, larger side, I just want to stay like this. On the other side, I just want to see him burn, since he was the catalyst for the abuse I suffered all those years. I shiver and take my hand back, pausing. No, I cannot think that, I deserved it! There is a lot wrong with me, still...
Lost in that thought, I stare at Indo in the end, a little empty, seeking affection and comfort, even.

Indonesia himself, meanwhile, looked like he was really enjoying this entire thing I did before the intrusive thought left me empty. Suddenly, I feel even more weird. Feeling like my lungs were closing up, my stomach twisting and shaking and turning all the other organs with it. I even feel cold, though that should be impossible, and some sort of anxiety shoots up in my head, almost knocking me out, making me at least a little dizzy. I want to throw up, badly. And then, it happens again.
An intense heat ruses through my veins, far above 50 degrees and in an instance, I push the other male away from me, almost falling off the bed myself. Yet I get up myself, considering what to do. This 'Overheating' happens from time to time, especially with imbalance within my judgement. I fully haven't understood it myself, yet she explained it to me as far as 'the waves of energy responsible for the magic clash due to inner imbalance, which quickly gets out of control'. She even was surprised that it hadn't happened before in the past weeks.
Maybe I should have listened when she suggested to move on...
But the others here, this is my home, is it not?!
The temperature rises to 70 degrees, far more dangerous. Inner overheating is far worse that outer heating for me.
Outer heating...
I rush out onto the balcony, summon fire and engulf myself with the flame. It doesn't harm me, I just hope the energy is enough to pull the heat/energy out my body, like plasmolysis.