Playing with Fire | Yuzuru Hanyu

19. Goodbyes

Yuzuru had no idea what to say.

After everything that had happened, the last thing he wanted was to say goodbye to the incredible force of nature that was the woman in front of his eyes.

He knew what she meant, he had felt it on the night before and he had felt it during their exchange in the morning.

There was no denying that she seemed to have enjoyed their time together and he always knew what to do.

Had he been wrong all along or did the experience with her teach him through ways he didn't expect?

In the end, his response came in the form of a kiss.

He couldn't bear to say goodbye like that, with painful words and sentences that made him want to cry.

"Can I... One last time?"

He expected her to be hesitant but found nothing of sorts in her expression.

Their breakfast was soon forgotten, and he found himself completely lost in her once again.

Her moans were a beautiful symphony that he would keep in his brain for the next years to come. Yuzuru loved every second of their time together and made sure to have enough memories to remember.

Aurora didn't look any better as she too, got lost in him.

Once he groaned her name, he saw her gesture no with her head.

"Aria." she mumbled.

Yuzuru looked at her in confusion as she moaned out his name in every thrust.

"What?" he asked against her cheek.

"My name... my real name is Aria."

He found himself saying the most ridiculous thing in response.

"Thank you. Thank you for telling me, Aria"

Testing out the name on his tongue, he instantly loved it.

The trust she placed in him hadn't once been neglected. It wasn't the first time she told him something about herself that was far from being easily shared and it made him wonder if any of his feelings towards this girl were mutual.

When they finally climaxed against one another, there were stupid tears on both their faces.

"Don't cry, silly man." she told him, cuddling into his chest once again, feeling the warmth and comfort that his touch provided.

"I'm not the only one, am I?"

"I'm a girl, I have to keep up with the sentimental shit."

Yuzuru couldn't help but chuckle at her joke. As much as it pained to know that he probably wouldn't see her again, those moments by her side were too valuable to dismiss.

"I'm usually very sentimental with things. My old coach said it helped with the artistry of the sport."

"I figured you were an athlete..."

"Injury and all, wasn't too hard to guess."

"And you're body is too incredibly proportioned to be a result of the gym."

"Oh?"

"Shut up"

"I'm a figure skater." he admitted. That tiny piece of information seemed very valuable but given what she had shared with him, it seemed almost insignificant.

"Any good?"

"Now I'm completely useless."

"Will you tell me about it?"

"Long story short, I hid and ignored the injury for too long and it got bad enough to risk my whole career."

"Dumb mistake."

"Believe me, I know that now."

"Would you do it any differently with the knowledge you have today?"

She already knew him way too well. Only someone who did would ask something like that.

"Honestly? Probably not. When it messes with big competitions like the World Championships, I would always make sacrifices to make sure I attend."

"But what good does it do when you can't compete at a high level?"

"Because sometimes it still gets me the medal I want and the expectations on my shoulders bring some responsibility into it as well. I need to win."

Aria didn't pretend to understand. She was never an athlete and this seemed like something that only one could properly realize.

She still smiled and kissed his lips.

It was with all of this newly found knowledge that she painfully left his embrace. It was time to face reality and forget about how good it felt to pretend like their interactions were in different circumstances.

In the end, she was just an escort and given what he had just told her, Aria knew that she was far from the right woman for this incredible man, no matter how much he had made her want him.

"I... I wish I didn't have to leave"

"You're not the only one."

"But you understand why, right? I can't... my job..."

"I know, Aria, I know."

He didn't fight her, he didn't beg for her and in reality, he was just following the damned rules that were written by her bosses in the dreaded website.

When it came to this, she wasn't even sure how to think about it because none of what happened felt like work, no matter how different the reality truly was.

Getting dressed was slow and not hiding the obvious delay that she so much needed and wanted.

Still, the time to say the dreaded goodbye came and she found herself kissing his lips one last time, cleaning the tears from her face when they parted and moving in fast strides to the door.

Even as she left that hotel room, Aria knew how stupid and overreacted her feelings seemed to be. Saying goodbye to him hurt her more than she could have ever expected but the alternative of allowing this to drag and possibly becoming something else was far worse.

Yuzuru was just a client, one side of her brain seemed to be telling her. Right at the same time, the other part argued back with the obvious fact that she shared a lot more information than was usual for her.

The truth was that allowing her hope and fairytale dreams to take over was just asking for trouble.

It didn't mean that she didn't question herself.

Just how much time would it take to let go and forget him?