Illicit [Harry Styles]

Chapter 35

I had been on my way home before, but Harry forced me to go to the rest of my classes for some reason. He told me he was meeting Niall and would hang around so he could see me later. I did as he said and went to psychology and English before walking home at three.

By the time I got home at just after half three, both Niall's and my mum's cars weren't outside the house, but Harry's was. The sleek black beamer sat at the end of my path, practically shaking from the heavy bass that came with the loud music he was listening to inside. I saw him sitting in the driver's seat staring down at his lap — presumably fiddling with his phone. I strolled up to the car and tapped my knuckles against the window, making him look up suddenly. He turned the car off when he saw me, carefully opening the door and climbing out.

"Hey," he said, acknowledging me in a somewhat awkward manner when he stepped out and stood beside me. He pressed the button on his key and blipped the car locked, both of us taking to the path to go inside the house. I already had my key at the ready so I was able to let us in with ease.

This was weird. Why was there tension between us? I believe this was the first time Harry and I had just... 'hung out', just because we can. Usually it was with a group of us or at least one of us was wasted. Sure, there was Halloween which was the first time we'd done anything but kiss in private, but this felt a lot different to then. For starters, Harry was clothed and sober, therefore not wanting to cuddle me.

He was just standing uncomfortably in the middle of my living room, so I told him, "You can sit down," like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Do you want a drink or something?"

"Sure," he shrugged, plopping down onto the sofa and slouching back with his arms out beside him — one on the arm rest and the other on the back of the sofa.

I was having one of those weird moments where the most ordinary of questions were awkward to ask, so I didn't ask him what he wanted to drink. He wasn't fussy, I assumed, so I just got us both a glass of coke.

I tiptoed back into the living room trying not to spill the full glasses, popping them on the coffee table steadily. When I sat on the arm chair next to him, I just didn't know what to do or say.

"Why do I feel so awkward right now?" he spoke up, humour laced in his voice but a serious expression consuming his features.

"Probably because neither of us are trying to make a move on the other..."

He opened his mouth to reply, but froze, closing his mouth again with an 'I suppose' look on his face as he shrugged. He picked up the glass and I watched discreetly as he brought it to his lips, his Adam's apple bobbing each time he swallowed.

"The sexual tension is so high, that it's like... not there, do you know what I mean?" he said, placing the glass back onto the coaster. That was a strange thing to say, but neither of us were exactly the best at day-to-day conversation as such.

"Yeah," I agreed, not really knowing what he was talking about in all honesty. It just felt like neither of us knew what to do when we weren't all over each other, which I think was pretty awful.

We sat in silence for a moment, before there was three loud thumps on the front door. I looked to Harry with a quizzical look on my face.

"Who's that?" That's one of those really stupid things you just say without thinking, isn't it?

"How would I know?" he retorted, proving my point.

I stood up from my seat and wandered over to the door, opening it straight away without looking through the peephole.

"Hi Jess," an all too familiar face beamed at me, "Niall around?"

"Liam, h— what are... you doing here? Niall's not here," I stuttered, glancing back at Harry sitting on the sofa behind me. This was becoming a regular occurrence, and definitely not one that I enjoyed at all.