Illicit [Harry Styles]

Chapter 65

"Okay, you can go," Miss Hurdle (my psychology teacher) told the class on Tuesday after the lesson on offender profiling. "Jess, I'd like you to stay behind a minute."

I smiled in acknowledgement, but my stomach did drop a little bit in fear. It was always scary when the teacher asked you to stay behind. You suddenly start thinking of every bad thing you could've possibly done over your entire life that you could be about to get a bollocking for.

I collected my things and got ready to leave, walking up to the front of the class and standing by her desk as she fiddled with her laptop. The rest of the class flooded out of the door, keen to get to break, and I watched longingly wishing I was one of them.

"It's nothing serious, you're not in trouble," she chuckled, noticing my worried expression when she shut her laptop and looked up at me. "I just... I wanted to check you're alright."

"Wh-what? I'm fine," I said, sounding almost horrified. Why was she asking if I was alright?

"Are you sure?" she checked, and I nodded with a confused look. "I'm only asking because I feel like you're not giving this year your all so far, Jess."

I didn't know how to respond. What was I supposed to say? Oh yeah, well I did fall in love with a criminal I met at court with whom I cheated on my boyfriend. It's been a bit of a rocky road since then, I've had to choose between the two of them, and then the one I chose - you know, the criminal? - he broke my heart multiple times. One time my brother tried to fight him and we both ended up in the hospital. It's been secrets and lies, and now someone's trying to sabotage my relationship. I also found out that my new boyfriend is secretly an emotional mess because his ex girlfriend got murdered. Sorry I haven't had time to do my homework, Miss.

I ultimately decided on, "I've had a few distractions recently."

She gave me this weird, pitiful look as if she knew all about my life. "That's okay. I just don't want you to waste this year. You're a bright girl, you have so much potential, that's why it's important to stay focused."

"I will. I am," I assured her certainly, twiddling my fingers behind my back in a nervous habit.

"You have a lot of essays outstanding, and I'm going to ask for you to have them done for me before we break up for half term. Can you do that?"

"Umm... Yeah," I nodded. That meant I had less than three days to get my shít together. Great.

"And what about your personal statement? The deadline is only next month, if it's not submitted by then you won't be going to uni, simple as that."

"It's almost done, I'll finish it," I swore. I was lying, it most definitely was not almost done. Being the pessimist I am, whenever I attempted to start it I was finding it hard to find good things to say about myself.

"Alright," she smiled warmly, encouragingly. "Whatever's going on, just don't let it take over. I know you're capable of getting the good grades you need for next year."

We went through her marking book so I could make a note of all the essays I had to do by Friday, and then after thanking her for being concerned about me I was on my way. After her talk I knew she was aware that I'd been going through a tough time, which was a bit embarrassing. I didn't want to know what exactly she did know about me. She made it clear she knew I hadn't been focused, and the way she had looked at me and been so comforting I could just tell she had assumed or even heard things. It made me wonder who else that I didn't want knowing my personal life knew about my issues. I could only be thankful that I'd gotten things back on track now.

She was right in that the UCAS deadline was coming up. Time was absolutely flying by; one minute the school year had just started and the next we're a month away from the UCAS deadline for getting personal statements in. It made me nervous that the majority of people had already submitted theirs and received multiple offers from their desired universities, but I only had myself to blame for procrastinating.