In The Front Seat

Not him, but him.

In the front seat.

And as for facing him, I don't know, maybe it will be a good time to just tell him how I feel properly, maybe we need a break..?

“So how have you been?” He held my hand and we sat in his room, I felt so good having male company that just made you feel good about yourself.

“I've been okay.”

“MMM really?” I laughed.

“Yes blob! How have you been?” I gazed at him smiling. He shrugged and sighed deeply.

“Okay, just miss your cuddles.” I opened my arms and he hugged me and we giggled and sat there talking for ages.

Marcus.

Yes he is actually a fantastic guy, like totally amazing in all kinda of ways, I could talk to him about nearly everything.

“Hows your love life?” I asked.

“It's good, I'm learning to respect women in a way that we both feel comfortable, not beat then ignore, you lot have feelings too, I realise my wrongdoing.” I smiled happily.

“The girl that gets you is lucky!”

“Yes, trying Rachel, testing the waters if she's wifey material, she makes man laugh bare! I like that, I get she ain't really my type but I wanna try something different,” I gave him the thumbs up and he stared at me.

“Hows your man?” I shrugged miserably.

“I'm seeing him today, in about..” I looked at my phone. “Well I'm leaving now, I will call you straight after.” I said and got up. He nodded and gave me a brief hug and then I departed and left. I got a bus and sat on there thinking of what to say, I even said the words looking at mandem watching me. They looked at me, when they saw me they whispered HIS name, then laughed and walked off. Not new to me at all, I've been getting that for ages now, I just got used to it.

“Michael...I just want to....No! Come on Shan! Say it! Note it.” I whispered to myself, I was going crazy, he actually makes that statement realistic on all levels. “You make me go crazy”. I sighed when I saw his road, and pressed the “STOP” button. I got up and got off. I usually cleared all my messages when I was going to see him, he was very inquisitive about what I do, and my phone world, that was vital, this time I just left it. I walked up his road, and my heart started beating when I saw his car. His boys walked past me, and I looked at them, and they just walked on. I hated them anyway, spies!

I got to his door and knocked, thinking more, my hands got sweaty and my brain felt like it had that heart beat rhythm. I rubbed my temples and just then he opened the door and looked at me, scrutinizing me carefully, I looked at the floor and he opened the door and let me in. I walked into his living room and sat down . He came in and sat opposite me and watched.

“You didn't answer any of my calls, didn't see you, where the fuck where you?” He said sternly. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Michael-”

“Shut up man, did I say you should say my name, or you should answer the question!” He got up shouting at me. I shot up and screamed letting every single stress that he jarred up in my head come out. I had enough, I couldn't take it, I was itching with pain seeing him again caused the symptoms of failure to my heart.