each and every moment + h.s.

occurance

"Good morning, ba-" I turn to the other side of the bed and see it empty, reminding me of what had happened just a few hours ago. I look down to my shaking hands and realize that I went to bed in yesterday's clothes, so stripped my self of all of it and walked to the bathroom for a shower.

"It's not so bad being home alone." But your girl, Harry.

I haven't been able to touch her in too long. I haven't been able to tell her I love her, and her register it. I haven't been able to hold her while she's having trouble keeping her eyes shut in too long. When I step out of this foggy room, she won't be sitting at the dining table staring at her coffee, thinking too much. 'Its fun to fantasize,' she'd say, referencing an old song from a band she's loved since she was fifteen.

I go to the kitchen with a towel around my waist and find something to eat before I decide to drink away the pain.

Why would I start that? Why would I do that to her.

Since her teenage years she's hated alcohol, the way it tastes, smells, what it does to people. That last one was her least favorite. She hated being around inebriated people, who have no control over their thoughts or actions, no balance. I don't want to be that way anyway. I need to know what I'm doing and I just need to be there for her right now. Yeah, her not being here hurts, but she got hit by a car.

That's when I actually process what had happened. I stop staring into the fridge and run to our room to get some clothes on (joggers and her favorite shirt of mine) and some toms, grab a bottle of water and head back to the hospital. I don't know the visiting hours for the ICU, but I can wait, talk to Brandy when she's not working and call her sister, tell her to come by.

There's so much I've forgotten to do because of this state of shock im in and I know that when I arrive at the hospital I need to call her family tell about what happened and hope they don't blame me for it.

"Hello, Ma'am. This is Harry. I think you need to come down here, Cam and I were- well I'll explain when you get here. I'll text you my location, I don't know the address. Hope all is well with you and the family."