each and every moment + h.s.

condition

It's been three days. Three days without her hand in mine, three days without her on the other side of the bed, and three days without her telling me to clean up after myself.

But I can do it. Not for much longer, though. This not-seeing-the-love-of-your-life thing is gut wrenching- physically painful. I miss her.

Her friends come by every once in a while, bringing me dishes of pasta or some kind of casserole. It helps, because the food in the hospital cafeteria isn't that great.

I haven't been allowed to see her yet. The doctor told me- well, her parents, and then they told me-  that she can't speak yet, and she's not very responsive, but she can blink for yes or no questions. They also said there were a lot of broken bones, that we were lucky her neck didn't snap. The thing that was the most striking was that there was minimal brain damage. She still remembers the people in her life, and basic things, like movement and such, but she probably won't know her way around very well. I'll have to show her how to get to work, and like where the bathroom or kitchen is, but only once (Houses are easy for her to navigate. "Context clues," she would always say).

How have I held it together? Oh, right. I haven't. I cried on her father's shoulder.

Whatever. That's normal. I'm stressed. Stressed, depressed, and well-dressed.

What am I even doing anymore?

I've sat here in this same seat for two days and feels like it's been weeks. I still have no idea how she's doing. I have no idea what she's thinking. I can't get in because I'm not "immediate family". I live with her and I still can't see her.

Sometimes I imagine pulling an Adam and getting Ashton and the boys in here, and maybe then I'll get to see my Mia.

But Cam hates making a scene. She'd shun me as soon as she was conscious. And then she'd feel bad but I'd tell her I deserved it, that I knew better and I should've respected her.

I really can't take this anymore. I stand up suddenly, earning a few stares from various eyes in the hall. I tap on the nurse's station window. "I'm Ms. Stones boyfriend-"

She interrupts to repeat what I've heard too many times: "Immediate family only, I'm sorry."

"Look, I know. But I'm basically her family. Talk to her parents," I spit, sick of not knowing.

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a/N

ITS SUNDAY MORNING AND IM SORRY THIS JAS TAKEN SO LONG I JUST HAVENT JAD ANY WRITING IDEAS. ENJOY YOUR DAY AND MAKE YHE MOST OF IT

xx, zo (: