Chapter Thirteen

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I woke up to see that mam is staring at me

"Morning babe" She whispered smiling and kiss my forehead.

"Morning mam".I said smiling. "Don't you have rehearsals today?"

"No, I'm free today but I'll leave tonight for my 1st show in Belfast" she said stroking my hair.

"Oh" I said looking away. We stayed in a comfortable silence when Carson walked in the room.

"Mam breakfast is ready"he said walking towards us. Mam moved a little creating a space beside her.

"Come here" she said patting the space beside her. Carson smiled and laid beside mam. I like this moment the three of us together but I feel somethings missing.

"I miss daddy" I said. I was shocked with what I said but I didn't let them notice it. I felt mam stopped stroking my hair but I didn't looked at her, I just stared at the wall. I can feel their eyes on me but I didn't looked up.

Why am I feeling this way. I know that I'm angry at him because of what he became and what he did to mam but I'm missing him. He didn't show up to us since Carson kicked him out of the house. Doesn't he care about us anymore?. I miss bonding with him, I miss him calling me his princess, I miss all the good memories. I want to see him but I don't know where he is. Is he even alive?. I don't know anything about him.

It was silent. I looked up to them and their eyes are on me, shocked of what I said. I looked away hugging mam. I suddenly felt sick. I got out of bed quickly and ran to the bathroom. I leaned over the sink throwing up.I felt mam pull my hair back and start rubbing my back gently. Carson handed me a towel. I took it and wiped my mouth. I stood up straight and saw my face in the mirror. I look pale again and there's a small bruise on my left cheek. I looked at mam through the mirror and she just stared at me. I sighed and turn around.

"Thanks" I smiled, mam just smiled and pulled me into a hug then Carson hugged us both so tight that I can't breath.

"Carson, I can't breath" I whisper. He pulled away immediately.

"Sorry"

"S'ok" I smiled.

"Let's go downstairs" Carson said walking out of the bathroom and we followed him.

"I don't want to eat anything. I'm just going to my room" I said walking out of the room.

"Are you sure?" mam asked following me out of the room.

"Yes mam" I smiled. I turned around and went into my room closing the door behind me. I jump in to bed then buried my face in to a pillow. i reached for my phone on the the table beside the bed then looked at it. I have three messages.

Liam: Hey babe how are you? Going home soon Xx I miss u and I love you

Jane: How's my best mate doing? :)

Julia: Hey! How are you feeling? Just asking if ur free today and just want to hang out Xx Take care Luv u xx

I replied to Julia's text

Me: I'm fine thanks :) I'm free today where'd u wanna hang out?

A few seconds later my phone vibrated beside me. I looked to see that Julia sent a text

Julia: I was thinking we'll go shopping at 11:30 Xx Is that okay?

Me: Yeah sure I'll meet you there Xx

Julia: Okay :)

I glanced at the clock to see that it's 10:15. I got out of the bed and went to the bathroom ready for a bath

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I walked out of the bathroom and walked in the closet. I put on a navy blue dress and blue heels. I tied my hair into a side pony tail and put everything that I need in my bag. I walked out of my room and head downstairs. I saw Carson watching TV eating some crisps. I sat next to him grabbing the bag of crisps putting some in my mouth before handing it back to him. He looked to me and frowned.

"Hey where are you going?" He asked.

"Out" I said staring at the TV.

"No, You're staying here with me" He said looking at the TV.

"What?" I said turning to him

"I said you're staying home with me and mam."

"No,I'm going out" 

"You're staying"

"Mam can I go out?" I yelled. Mam walked out of the kitchen and I looked to her.

"Sure" She smiled wiping her hand with a towel

"Ha!" I said to Carson sticking my tongue out. Carson just rolled his eyes. I stood up and walked to mam and hugged her.

"Thanks mam" I said pulling away. I glanced at my watch. It's already 11:00. I looked up to mam and she smiled.

"Go" she said then she kissed my forehead and pulled me into a hug.

"Bye mam" I said pulling away.

"Bye"

"Bye Carson" I said walking towards the door.

"Bye little red" I walked out of the house and got in the car.

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 I saw Julia waiting outside the mall wearing huge sunglasses. She's wearing a bright blue top and skinny jeans and black heels. I got out of the car and walked towards her then paps people surrounds us asking for pictures and autographs but we just walked in the mall. 

"Hey you okay?" Julia asked looking at me, I just nodded "You're pale" 

"I guess that's my skin tone from now on" I joked. she just smiles

"So where do we go first?" She asked

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We've been shopping for over an hour now and to be honest even if I'm tired, I'm enjoying it. 

"Julia will you go with me to the bookstore? I'll just have to buy something" I asked.

"Sure I'm just going to the ladies room, I'll meet you there" 

"Okay" And with that she walked away. I headed to the bookstore. I walked in and went to the notebook section. I wanted to buy a notebook where I can write songs and another notebook to write my thoughts or feelings. I grabbed a pink notebook with white polka dots and a brown notebook with vintage design on it. I walked towards the cashier looking at the notebook I chose. I bumped into a man because I wasn't looking where I was going. Books fell on the floor.

"I'm so sorry" I bent down and picked up the books.

"It's okay" He said bending down and helping me. I didn't look up to him. 

"I'm sorry, I'm a bit clumsy" I said. We stood up at the same time and that's when I looked up to him.

My heart stopped when I looked up to him. I think I stopped breathing. I let go of the books and took a step back. He's staring at me. He's face is blank. It can't be him. 

"C-Carter?" He whispered. I opened my mouth but no words would come out and I can't run . I'm rooted in my spot.

"Daddy?" I croaked and without thinking I hugged him.

"I'm sorry" I said then I ran towards the counter and paid for the notebooks and walked out of the store. I didn't realize I was crying until I bumped into Julia.

"Hey, why are you crying?" she asked looking at me. I wiped off my tears and looked up to her.

"I saw daddy" 

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