One Final Wish

Chapter Thirty Five

I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I feel okay today. I checked my phone and saw tons of messages saying congratulations with a picture of my single that is number one on itunes. I took the picture and post it on instagram saying thanks gor the support they've given me. I stood up and walked towards the window opening the curtains and saw that it's snowing. I love snow so I rushed to my closet and put on my coat. I run towards Carson's room. Carson also love snow. I walked in to see he's still sleeping.

"Carson, Pst!" I whispered climbing to his bed and on top of him.

"Wake up, wake up" I said like a five year old shaking him. He groaned.

"I'm still sleeping" He moaned.

"But I want to play outside" I said laying on top of him. He moved so I stood up immediately because if I don't I'll fall. I let out a sigh but then I have an idea. I climbed on top of him again opening his eye.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" I asked. His eyes opened and looked at me. I grinned at him and I stood up. He immediately stood up to grab his coat then I held his hand pulling him outside.

"Come on, come on" I said as we go downstairs. He keeps telling me to keep quiet because mam and dad are still sleeping but I ignored him. I put on my boots quickly and opened the door to the garden and ran outside laughing. I form a snowball and wait for Carson to get out. Few seconds later he appeared on the door so I quickly hit him with a snowball laughing.

"Carson come on" I said loudly as he remove the snow on his coat. He laughed.

"I'm gonna get you" He chased me around the garden.

"Stop" I turned around and he stopped grinning at me.

"What?"

"I want a snowman" I said  He grinned at me then we started making it. Carson formed the snow into balls while I'm finding some stones for the face and the buttons. When I found them I went back to Carson to see that the snowman has already have a carrot for a nose.

"Ta-da" Carson said posing and gesturing I giggle at him and went near the snowman and put on the stones to form his face and the buttons on his body.

"Done" I said but then I felt something cold hit my side so I looked at Carson who has his hands on his back and acting innocent whistling. I formed a snowball and threw it at him. Then he started to chase me throwing snowballs at me but then I felt my knees go weak then I felt a snowball hit my back making me lose balance and fall to the ground.

"Carter" Carson yelled. He rushed to me and lift me up carrying me. We entered the house and suddenly I felt warmer. Mam and dad rushed downstairs asking us what happened as Carson put me down on the sofa and building a fire.

"I just fell" I said with a sad tone. Mam and dad sighed in relief. Mam went to the kitchen while dad sat beside me. I cuddled up to him.

"Sorry" I said to Carson making him look at me. " I spoiled the fun" I said he smiled and walked to us giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"It's okay" He whispered. I looked up to dad who's sleeping making me smile. I carefully sat on his lap facing him and slightly tapping his face to wake him up.

"Daddy" I said shaking him. He woke up and looked at me.

"Daddy, can I go out later please?" He raised his eyebrows at me.

"With who?"

"With Julia" I said smiling. I feel Carson's eyes on me.

"Okay" He said closing his eyes again.

"Thanks daddy" I said and kiss him on the cheek making him smile. I turned to Carson who has a frown on his face.

"What?"

"Why didn't I know about this" He asked firmly and I smiled at him.

"It's a girl thing" I said. He rolled his eyes making me laugh. I stood up and went to the kitchen and saw mam asleep on the counter. I sat beside her and remove her hair from her face staring at her.

"I'm gonna miss you" I whispered and planted a kiss on her forehead. I decided that I'll go cook and prepare breakfast for all of them.

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Me and Julia have been walking in the mall finding a good present for Carson for his 18th birthday.

"Carter if you don't mind, Why the rush on buying Carson's present when his birthday is not until friday next week and it's only wednesday" She asked as she picked up a jacket from the rack. I think carefully what I will say.

"I don't know... I just want to be ready" I smiled. she just shrugged. Then something caught my eye. It's a gold plain dogtag. This will be perfect.

"What do you think?" I asked Julia and when I saw her smile, I knew that it was the one.

"So what've you got" I asked her.

" Oh, I've got a shirt, shoes and a hat" She said.

"Okay let's go and pay for it so we can go home. My feet are killing me" I giggled.

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It's the middle of the night and I'm wrapping up Carson's gift but it's really hard cause I know that I won't reach Carson's birthday and that's just heartbreaking. I wrote on the card that was attached to the gift and hid it under my bed. I stood up and sat by the window watching the snow fall from the sky. I don't know if I'm ready to die thinking of what it would be or what it could be if I'm not sick. All of this pretending makes me sick and it's making my heart heavy. I wiped my tears and bring my knees up to my chest. Every night I always cry myself to sleep. I just don't want to break their hearts. They thought that I still have a month to live when the truth is I've only got days to live. I know when I will die. I can feel that. It's easier to think when will I leave this world. What's hard is how will I say goodbye to the persons I will be leaving behind.