A Shade of Cool

VII: The Secret

"Your Mom is awake. She awoke earlier this morning. It took her a while to gather herself but she seems to be responsive now. She's gave a statement of the events of yesterday to our Mental Health Team along with the police. The account states that she took an overdose of Antidepressants, mostly Fluoxine and Sertaline around late afternoon, she was found unconscious in the upstairs bathroom by your Neighbour late evening which tells us she must've been under for some time. The most likely time is an hour or half an hour. Any more and she'd... she wouldn't have made it," The Doctor informed us.

"What is the right move from here?" Marissa asked, gripping my hand tightly as she leant forward in her seat.

"Well, we are keeping her in for a few days. But tomorrow we are going to send in two examiners to determine whether she is a viable case for Bernard's Institute," He said, "If tests come back positive, she'll be moved there within the week."

Letting go of my hand, Marissa buried her face into her hands. My hand gripped her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze as I looked at Ana, who closed her eyes. A tear sliding down her cheek, "Thank you, Doctor," I said.

"You're welcome, I'll be available tomorrow if you both want to go into further details but for now, I think it's appropriate for you to visit her," He left us.

"Come on," I shook Marissa's shoulder, "Let's go in."

She stood with me, Ana stayed put as she passed me a smile and wiped away her tear. I nodded to her before walking into Mom's room with Marissa. We saw her, laid there and eating Jell-O as she watched Jerry springer quietly.

"Mom?" Marissa's sob caught her attention.

"Marissa?" Mom looked over at her, then me and then her, "Is that you?"

"Yes!" She cried and walked toward her, Mom's arms spreading for her as they hugged each other tightly, "I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have left you! I should have stayed with you! I'm so sorry, Mom!"

Mom rubbed her back and smiled, "No, Sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm so silly. I was so silly," She told her. Her eyes caught mine and she passed me one of her warm kind beams, "It's okay, I promise. It's not your fault."

I held back the tears, biting my tongue, watching them. I sat myself down on the chair by the bed and watched as Marissa laid down on the bed with Mom. Mom caressing and whispering to her as she sobbed silently. All I could do was watch her. Watch them. Remembering what the Doctor told us. The guilt remained. It could never go. Now I know how Marissa felt, just without the tears. It was all my fault. This was me.

The drive from the hospital was quiet as we buzzed along the highway and back into town, the autumn leaves invading the trees, the trees looking like crooked demons, the sky looming low and murky. Everything suited my mood. I was grateful for my Mom's health, Marissa being here and Ana's helping hand. But it felt like there was a piece missing to complete my happy look on life. As I looked at Marissa, red eyed and smiling slightly as she drove and Ana, tired and restless, head against the window I thought about it; the blue and red. The flowers. Noah.

Resting my head against the window I remembered how Dad would come home, baring Mom flowers. Roses. She loved Roses.

"Here you go, for my precious!" He's spin her, handing her the bouquet.

"Oh you!" She slap his chest, playfully as she put on this Southern accent, "You know how to spoil a girl!"

"Oh I do?" He'd pull her to him by the waist, "And that's not the last of my spoils," He wink and at that point we'd all pull a face of disgust and tell him to stop. That thought made me smile as I just remember the happiness in her eyes. Now, she could smile but it still wouldn't feel complete.