A Shade of Cool

XXXIX: The Rose

(Play the audio above to get the feel of the chapter, I thought it would be a nice touch! ^.^)

"Are you sure about this?" Avery asked.

I continued into the room, ignoring Avery as I pushed the door wide open and stood there, looking over the bedroom. It was frozen in time. The pink carpet was smooth and clean. The tidied bed was sat ahead of us looking untouched and treated with care. The only thing out of place was a dress that was slung on the back of her desk chair. Swallowing hard, I stepped over to it, running my fingers through the silk.

"What is it?" Avery asked.

"Her prom dress," I said.

It had been a week and a half since she had passed and yet still, every day was another battle to face. My arms still felt heavy from holding her, my eyes ached from my tears and my throat hurt from my pleas for her to be okay. I tried to stifle my cries at night for the sake of Noah but I didn't help. We spent most nights holding each other. His hands in mine and our bodies connected as we stayed together. Kathy had done that. She made it possible for me and Noah to go through anything and stick together stronger than ever. She was the light in every ounce of darkness and now that light was gone, it was up to us to try to get through it.

Nothing can prepare you for losing someone you love. Someone you grew to care for and take in as a member of your own family. Someone who showed that life was worth living and love was worth fighting for. Centuries come and go without a person like that coming into the world.

All that was left of her was clothes, pictures, a body. Her opinions and her thoughts and voice and laughter was all gone. That's what stirred the anger inside of me. Some selfish piece of shit had taken that away from us, from her. I noticed I was gripping slightly onto the wedding dress and let go quickly, looking down at it. There she was, as if in front of me. Wearing the dress her blonde hair curled and lifted into her messy braided bun. The cardigan on her shoulders as she stared doey eyed at me, her wide smile shining brightly and she stepped toward me, "You look smart, Mr Green."

I closed my eyes softly as if it improved the picture I had of her in my head. Her bright blue eyes staring at me and her dress swaying a little as she stood there. So real and so alive. I wanted to speak to her but I knew that this wasn't real. This wasn't Kathy and Kathy was gone. My image of her slowly began to faded away as if thinking this had dismissed her. I desperately tried to reign her back but everything began to fade; her hair to her eyes to her dress, to her voice.

I opened my eyes and took the dress in my hands once more as I lifted it to my chest, holding it close. The scent of her perfume still haunted it. My mind went back to the day after. School being filled with sobbing students, police interviewing people and a monument being placed outside the school. I still remember the lanterns being lifted into the air by all these people, people who knew her, people who didn't and people who just wanted to pretend they cared. As if they had all known her forever.

"What are we looking for?" Avery interrupted.

Sighing, I turned to her. Seeing her stood there, arms crossed and looking rather impatient as if she wanted to get out. I hid my annoyance at this and looked around the room carefully eyeing anywhere it could be. Where would girls keep their prized possessions? I had no idea. But I knew Kathy. So that had to count for something.

"God, take your time. The funeral starts in an hour and we are stood here looking through a dead girls things-"

"Excuse me?" I frowned.

"She's dead, okay? It's done, there's no point going through her stuff and crying about it every minute of the day, it's not going to bring her back," Avery rolled her eyes.