I Love You is a Horrible Thing to Say: A Tale of Two Mates

Chapter 23: The Wedding

Skylar'a POV:

On the way to dinner neither of us spoke. There wasn't anything else to say. We both knew that after tomorrow everything changed. Justin would be married and my unnerving love for him will still very much be existing. It was so easy for me to imagine my life if I could move on from him. I may not love Leo the way I loved Justin. But I could still see myself being reasonably happy with him at my side.

The real question was: was it fair to do that to him? I will never be able to love Leo the way I love Justin. And that thought a lone makes this all the harder. I wanted to love Leo- but I couldn't.

I was so immersed in my thoughts I didn't even realize the car had stopped until Leo tugged at my hand. "We're here Skylark." He said sweetly.

I grinned at him "you haven't called me that in awhile."

"I forget you remember everything. I'm so sorry Skylar. I really am."

I shrugged not knowing what to say.

"So where are we?"

His smile grew giving him the image of a guilty child. "Well since the last date I planed all those years ago went to hell I figured I'd go for the more old fashion approach. Dinner and a movie at my apartment. How does that sound?"

I couldn't help but smile with him. Leo always made me comfortable. There was not doubting that. We got out of the car and he held his hand out for me to hold. I hesitated.

This is it Skylar. You can finally move on. I thought to myself. And I wanted to move on. Leo was kind and sweet. He's always had my best interest in mind. He looked for me all those years. He's loved me through everything. Even after I declared my love for Justin over and over again. Justin was moving on. He was going to be married. He was going to be happy. And I wanted to be happy too. I wanted to be able to wake up and know despite the fact that my heart was broken it was on its way to being mended. And as I looked into Leo's caring emerald green eyes I knew he could help me. We had a lot of unanswered questions a lot of doubt. But I wanted to love him. I would learn to love him. I closed my eyes and placed my noticeably smaller softer hand into his larger rougher one and let go of Justin. Maybe this time for good.

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I woke up and groaned. I slowly got up out of bed and placed my feet on the cold hardwood floor below. I looked at the clock it read nine am. I hadn't gotten any sleep. I would maybe drift off for a few minutes only to wake up to avoid seeing Justin's beautiful face. I didn't want to see him look at me the way he did in my dreams. It gave me hope. And I had set my mind on moving on from him. I was going to too.

My date with Leo was perfect. Honestly a girl couldn't have asked for a better date. It was a night full of laughter and it was an amazing time. The only problem was the whole time I was still thinking of Justin feeling as though I should be guilty for being with another man. Yet I knew all too well Justin was to marry another woman. Today none the less.

Than it hit me like a ton of bricks. Justin was getting married. Today.

I felt sick to my stomach as I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I laid on the tile floor and cried. I needed to be strong but the agony I felt knowing the man I was so intently in love with was never going to be mine. And I like a masochist was going to sit there in the audience and watch helplessly as he says his wedding vows.

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A few hours later I was standing numbly outside the church praying that this was all just a dream. I was wearing a pale pink gown that was covered in delicate lace. The back was open exposing the light skin that was covered with scars from past abuse. This was the first time I ever thought to show them. I figured I was vulnerable enough why not come clean. My feet were aching from the plain black heels I was currently wearing.