Fix Me I'm Not Broken.

Chapter 8

When they got out of the Doctor's office Castiel told Dean if it was okay for them to go get his antibiotics. Dean,not wanting to be more of a burden to Cas than he already was, nodded his head and they both got in Cas's ridiculous car. Dean loved cars even if some of his most traumatic experiences had happened in them. He admired everything about Castiel's car every time he got near it, even if what Castiel had was a sad excuse of one. So he decided to focus on that instead of the nagging pain in his chest every time he took a breath or the deep pit of nervousness and horror settled in his stomach. Dean thanked the heavens and all of the above when Cas headed to the pharmacy's drive-thru instead of getting in the actual pharmacy, they got his medicine in less than 10 minutes plus the instructions of how and when to take them. Castiel thanked the guy who handed them the medicine and started moving the car, to Dean's horror they weren't going in the direction of Castiel's home, but to the direction that Dean thought was probably the mall. He really had to speak up, Dean didn't want to go to the mall so everyone could see and mistreat him, it had happened before, when his previous masters punished him in public and other strangers joined in on the fun.
He began hyperventilating and felt Castiel's eyes on him, when he looked at his owner he seemed extremely concerned.
"Dean, are you alright?"
Dean didn't feel like lying, couldn't this time, so when the question was asked Dean simply responded with a quiet
"No sir"
"What's wrong?"
Dean just shook his head, he was so scared that he was unable to answer. Suddenly Cas stopped the car in front of a barbecue place and Dean's heart stopped with it. He felt the color draining from his face and as if it was on instinct, he opened the car's door and ran.
He knew he wouldn't get far, Cas was in great shape, much better than his anyway and he had a tracker, if Castiel didn't want to deal with his overly emotional shit he could just report it to the police and they would take matters into their own hands. Dean knew that from early experience, when he tried to run away from his second owner with his brother, Sam, and when he remembered the tracker it was too late, so he took Sam's out against his brother's protests  and let himself be caught and beaten by police officers, he got his and Sam's punishment. Dean never saw Sam since, didn't really want to, because if he never saw Sam that would mean that his brother was either dead or he had made it, and those two options were way better than being a slave. After the beating of his life, Dean was so traumatized that he never tried to run away again. A few months after that, he was sold and taken to another state, his last chance of looking for his brother had vanished and Dean would never forgive himself for not manning up enough to try again. Remembering all this brought tears to Dean's eyes, he could hear his master behind him, breathing heavily and calling his name, begging him to stop. However, Dean kept running, fear and sadness giving him strength with each stride, his rib was burning so badly and his feet had started bleeding a little, but that didn't matter now. After a moment he realized how ridiculous all of this was, he didn't even know where he was going or what he was going to do, and realized that his best shot was to beg his  master for mercy and just hope for the best, but he couldn't stop, not now. So he kept going until Castiel caught up with him and grabbed his shoulder, the force of that brought both of them tumbling down. Dean on top of Castiel and Castiel on his back. Dean tried to get off and kneel as fast as he could, but Castiel pulled him down again, Dean was very frightened and began struggling, Castiel kept his hold on him and said "Dean stop" with a very commanding voice Dean hadn't heard before. Dean whimpered, but stopped, he didn't want to make his situation worse. "Get off" Castiel said with the same tone as before and Dean got off quickly, he drew himself into a ball while he heard Cas standing up, winded. Dean began crying quietly, so quietly that Castiel couldn't hear him.
"Dean, what the hell was that?!" Castiel demanded. Dean just shook and covered his head with his hands, he realized that he was laying down on the dirt, making the clothes Castiel had given him dirty, and that it would probably result in punishment as well.
"Do you know how dangerous that was?! You could've gotten killed, Dean!"
Dean was petrified, he knew that he had caused this, but he still didn't want to believe that Cas was like his previous masters, he wanted to believe that the man was different, that he was an angel of sorts, his savior, but now, laying on the dirt on the side of the road anticipating punishment, Dean realized that maybe he was mistaken.
He sobbed, louder this time, and basically screamed "I'm sorry sir! I'm so sorry, please! I-I didn't know what I was doing. Please I'm sorry sir"
Cas knelt, he was behind Dean, and stroked his back, the slave shivered at the touch, "Dean-" he was interrupted by Dean's desperate begging. "Sir, please don't hit me please! I promise to be better! The doc- the doctor said that that my rib had to be left alone, please don't hit me on my rib sir please, it hurts- he drew in a short breath- it hurts so much. I'm sorry I tried to run sir I'm sorry, you are so kind to me sir, I- you are the kindest person I've met!"
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Castiel's heart shattered at that. Now he felt like a jerk for yelling at Dean, he stroked his back softly, remembering the lashes, and tried again. "Dean" he put a hand on the slave's shoulder and the slave flinched and whimpered. "Dean, I'm sorry. I'm not going to hurt you. Remember I promised"
The slave hesitantly nodded.
"Dean, can you look at me?"
Dean turned around slowly, and looked quickly at Cas and then looked at the ground. "I'm sorry" Dean whispered again, and Castiel couldn't handle it anymore, he drew Dean close and hugged him. A few tears stained his face, and he felt Dean clutching his shirt and sobbing into his neck.
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Dean was drained, emotionally and physically and mentally. He was a basket case, he knew that, but he never thought he would be so broken. He sobbed like a small child into his master's neck, clutching his shirt desperately and noticing the smell of cinnamon that accompanied Cas, or at least he thought it was cinnamon, he wasn't allowed to eat anything that wasn't drugged or disgusting or both. His heart was beating violently against his chest. He felt the vibrations of Castiel's voice when he asked "Dean, why would you run away like that? Your rib is not fine and your feet are a mess, you shouldn't be this careless Dean"
Dean took a deep breath, inhaling Castiel's delicious scent, before answering. "When-when you stopped the car , I thought, I thought that you-you were mad at me, so I-I just ran. I was afraid that you would do something, maybe hit me or punish me or-or something I didn't- I didn't think I-I'm sorry sir"
"Shh it's okay, I'm not mad at you"
"I just didn't know how to tell you that I'm scared of going to the mall, that I didn't want to go"
"Why Dean? We're just getting you new stuff and nothing else"
Dean broke the embrace and looked at the man before bowing his head.
"Last time I was in a store, I-I wanted to see the car models, my master broke one and as a payment to the owner he let all of his customers use me and then some. I-I couldn't sit for a week sir, I was scared"
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Castiel, of course, knew this, since he had seen a lot of slaves being sexually and violently abused everywhere. He couldn't hold it in anymore and tears escaped his eyes. Dean looked at him with a funny face, even though he was still sobbing. And awkwardly tried to hug him, he flinched a couple of times, but when he got his arms around Cas the whole world seemed to melt before him. "Dean" he said, his voice was full of emotion, "I'm so sorry you had to live trough that, but I promise Dean, believe me, none of that will happen while I'm here" Dean tightened the embrace, so Castiel did too.
"We really need to go to the mall though, I'll take you to choose your clothes and whatever else you need"
"Okay" Dean whispered.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yes sir"
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Dean was anything but ready. He only wanted to make Castiel happy. So when he helped Dean stand up and put an arm around the slave protectively, Dean didn't protest. He could do this, because Castiel wanted him to. He had promised that Dean wouldn't be hurt, so they headed to Castiel's ridiculous car and Dean focused on the purring of the engine while they drove silently in the highway.
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Okay, so I'm procrastinating because I don't want to study and rather fail than being bored so I finished this chapter, yey! Probably my favorite chapter so far tbh. So, yeah! Also yesterday was my masquerade dance or whatever, so I got my nails done, worst mistake of my life while trying to update this story, anyway if this chapter looks like typo-city please let me know. Am I supposed to say something inspirational now??? Umm leave the gym and go get some pizza, you deserve it ;) and if you don't go to the gym get the pizza anyways y'all deserve to be happy! So I love you as always and I'm so grated for all the positive feedback omg!!! Thanks guys.
Song recommendation:
Past Lives by BORNS.