Fix Me I'm Not Broken.

Chapter 14

"Shit" Castiel said under his breath, after Dean calmed down they had moved to the kitchen to eat some breakfast. Scrambled eggs and toast. Dean noticed his portion was bigger than Cas's and it made something warm settle in his stomach.
"What's wrong sir?" Dean said quietly, mentally scolding himself for not waiting for permission to talk from his master.
"What's the date today?" Castiel rubbed the bridge of his nose, clearly irritated.
Dean didn't understand, was this a test?
"I-I don't know sir"
Cas growled and rubbed his face with his hands.
"I-I'll go check sir" Dean quickly stood up and walked towards the calendar on the fridge.
"It's Tuesday, March ummm" Dean was having a hard time making out the numbers.
" I know that Dean, I need to know what day it is"
"It's Tuesday sir" Dean said quietly, he was getting scared now.
Castiel walked to the fridge then and Dean flinched when he settled next to him and eyed the calendar.
"Do you know the number?" Castiel asked, his tone was different now. It was more calm and patient, instead of the irritated tone from earlier.
Nonetheless Dean vowed his head, eyes avoiding the man next to him and shook his head "no".
"That's twenty eight"
Dean looked up at the number, and nodded.
"I'm sorry Dean"
"For what?" Dean croaked, fight back tears, all of this crying had him dehydrated.
"For talking bad to you, after your outburst and everything"
"It's fine sir, really, I've handled worse"
Castiel smiled faintly before remembering what the date was.
"Today is my brothers birthday"
"Mister Gabriel?" Dean asked.
"Yes, but I will have to celebrate with my two older brothers and I'm honestly not up for it"
"Why?" Dean asked, before he could stop himself. If he had a chance to see his brother, even for a second, he would take it.
"Here, lets eat I don't want our breakfast to get cold"
They say down at the table and ate in awkward silence. Just when Dean thought Castiel was  simply going to dismiss his question his master said:
"So, do you want the long story or the short one?"
"Whatever you prefer Cas"
"Alright, well I'll tell you everything from the beginning then" Castiel took a deep breath, stood up and motioned Dean to follow him into the living room. Dean made a move of picking up the dishes , but Castiel told him to just leave them. Dean walked into the living room and settled on the couch next to his master.
"Okay" Cas sighed "So, when I was about 12 years old my mom killed herself, she grabbed my dad's gun from his studio and shot her brains out. She died at 4:56am on a Saturday, today is her death anniversary actually."
"I'm so sorry sir" Castiel could see that Dean meant it. "It's hard loosing your mom, mine was shot in the back when she was running away with Sam and I, by my dad. I don't remember much, I was 7, I just remember fire and my brother crying" Dean began tearing up at the vague memory.
"I'm sorry Dean" Castiel draped an arm around him like he was something precious and fragile and kissed his forehead, they stayed quiet for a few minutes before Castiel continued.
"Gabriel and I were the ones who heard the shot, Gabriel was 14 years old and he was the one who found her in the studio, or whatever was left of her anyway. He hugged her body and he was covered in blood by the time I went to see what was going on, Gabe covered my eyes and told me to go back to bed.
I asked him if he was hurt, he was soaked in blood and crying. He smiled, but didn't say anything, by that time my dad and Lucifer, my other brother, had woken up with all the noise and Dad just lost it, Lucifer just stood there, he never cried and he didn't even go to the funeral. He went to a party" Castiel's voice started to break. "And he got drunk and when he got home he was too high and out of it, but he kept laughing and saying 'the witch is dead' over and over, we never got along after that. Michael, my other brother, he was in his second year of college, my dad had to call him and tell him the news. He flew over and stayed with us. Gabriel was never the same after that, though. My dad wasn't either, he started beating Gabriel and me, and one day, I was 16 I think, and it was Christmas. I came out to my dad, about being gay. He grabbed a knife and stabbed my leg, I got away somehow and he kept chasing me around the house with the knife. Michael and Lucifer were laughing, they didn't try to help. They kept saying that that's what happens to fags. Gabriel got into dad's studio, grabbed the gun and just shot dad. He died three days later after being in a coma" Dean gasped and watched as tears made their way down Castiel's face. He looked so haunted and Dean felt bad for the man. He grabbed Castiel's hand and squizzed it tight. Castiel gave Dean a sad smile.
"Michael was 23 at the time and he reluctantly took me in and put Gabriel in a mental hospital, I was pissed at him for doing that to Gabriel when he needed us most. He fell deep into depression, he's still pretty depressed, the idiot tried to overdose himself just last year. Lucifer disappeared and Michael and I fought all the time because Michael didn't have enough money to maintain me, even when we got dad's inheritance, which was a lot of money and because I was gay. He kicked me out of his house when I was 18. Literally, I got home from work and he had all of my things packed and ready to go. Gabe got out of the mental hospital and went straight to college. We kept in touch, we bonded a lot and I even helped him find his new house for him and his wife. He got divorced 3 years ago when he told his wife he was bisexual, Lucifer married her after that and everything was just a big mess, everyone is mad at each other, but the last thing mom told us was to always stay together. That's really why we do any of this." Castiel ran his hands through his head and finally cracked
"That's why I can't do it Dean, I can't just go in there and pretend everything between us is fine, because it really isn't and we all know that"
Dean suddenly lurched forward and hugged the man close, he wasn't sure of who was the one needing the most strength right now, but Dean just needed the man to know he was there. Castiel returned the embrace.
"I can go with you sir" Dean offered timidly looking up at Castiel.
"Oh god no Dean, I will not allow you to do that"
"I-I can be good sir, real good, I'll behave I promise" Dean said earnestly.
"Dean, it's very dangerous for you to go. They uh, lets just say that lucifer and Michael have festivities planned that will not suit you"
"I-I'll try my best sir" Dean wanted to prove himself worthy of Cas, specially after today's outburst and what he had recently learned.
"Dean this is not about you or your behavior, it's about you not getting hurt. Alright?"
Dean nodded slightly and heard Castiel's phone ring.
"That's probably Gabe" he said breaking the hug and wiping away his tears. "I'll be back"

"Happy birthday" Dean heard Castiel say from another room.
"Yes, of course I'll see you there" Dean could hear the little crack in his voice that suggested he had been crying.
"Yes, I'm fine just tired" Dean smiled sadly, remembering how he'd say the same words to his brother countless of times.
"Okay, I'll see you"
"Bye Gabe"
Castiel walked back into the room.
"Looks like I'll be there at five" he slumped in the couch.
" I can still go with you if you want me to sir" Dean said boldly.
"Don't worry about it" Castiel stood up to get ready "but I'll bring you back a piece of cake."
Dean smiled at the thought.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
It's Gabriel's birthday!!!!
So, I realized that I gave you a lot of Dean's backstory, but then I said
'hey! Castiel needs a story too ' and this is also setting up the mood for 'Find me I'm not lost' which is going to be Sam's life while Dean is with Cas and I will put that up no later than Sunday, so stay tuned to see how Gabriel's party turns out ;).
I also want to say thank you to
superwholockedx and slayerintheimpala04 who are freaking awesome and sweet and just about everything positive in the world. Also TinaLovesJiley  who is always the first one to vote and makes me really really happy. I love you pals❤️
So keep being super cool for the summer😏 And just enjoy yourselves, I'm seriously looking forward to winter it's hot af in here.
Music recommendation: Breezeblocks by ALT-J (or literally any of his songs, they are perfect)