Fix Me I'm Not Broken.

Chapter 17

Hungry was the first word that came into Dean's mind when he woke up. Hungry, hungry, hungry. He realized he hadn't eaten anything since before his breakdown.

The day before.... oh yeah, he had cuddled with Cas. CAS! Dean looked behind him, where an exhausted looking Cas was still asleep.
"Oh god" Dean said, while gently running his fingers through Castiel's hair. "I'm such a mess."
He was supposed to be there to make castiel's life easier, not harder. He felt so bad, before him, Castiel had this boyish look to him, but now he had dark circles under his eyes, and the wrinkles on his forehead were more noticeable than ever.
"I'm sorry" Dean whispered and stood up to go to the bathroom. He enjoyed the freedom of standing up and being able to go wherever he pleased within the house, the fact that he could decide when he could go to the bathroom, without having to beg and without having to hold it for 3 hours, was such a novelty to him and he cherished it.
He avoided his reflection in the mirror, he knew he looked worse than what he did 2 days ago, but better than when he first got there 3 weeks ago. Nonetheless he avoided his reflection like the plague. He was disgusting, he knew that, the bruises on his face were still dark and yellowish, his torso was covered with scars and it still bled from time to time, bruises in the shape of fingertips covered his thighs, and bite marks were still visible throughout his body. Under the bandages, so carefully placed by Castiel, Dean knew he was a graveyard. He took a deep breath, as deep as his broken rib would allow, and willed his bladder to let go. He then sat on the closed toilet, not really sure whether he should go out or try to crawl within himself. Damn it! When did it get this bad? Dean wondered, silent tears running down his face, before he had Sam and Sam had been everything to him, but now, now that his brother had been taken away, such a long time ago that dean barely remembers his face, he was nothing. When did he allow a person to become his everything? And he just couldn't learn, because now, Castiel was rapidly becoming his everything and that more than anything freaked Dean out. He took the blade that he used the night before to savagely cut his arm and reached behind his neck. A very small, very deep horizontal incision and then the tracker was out. He was not going to let someone else ruin him. He was not going to ruin someone else. Dean took another glance at the bed before disappearing out the door and towards the cold streets, not knowing that there was a second tracker on his wrist, from when he was just a baby.
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This chapter is so lame, but I'm also lame so it's whatever. I'm so sorry I've made you guys wait so looonnggg. I hope some of you are still there???? Drop a comment, say hi! So, anyway short chapter, I've had a lot to do now that I'm back in school and my AP classes have started, they're hell and I saw it coming.
So, thanks for sticking around ❤ I love you guys!