Every Assassin Has Their Secrets *Completed

Chapter 8: My Dead End

Chapter 8: My Dead End

Year: 1223

Mongolia

  I could not breathe. I could not breathe one bit. It is as if all the air on the world had left and now all I was left with was the breath I just took and I had to hope that breath was going to last me a life time. Mentor, or should I say, my father just looked me in the eyes. I have no clue what he was looking for, but whatever he was looking for, he did not seem to find. I looked between both Maria and Mentor.

  Then the letters, the years without parents, the pain, the suffering, the grief, the thoughts. I could not let them get away with all the years they missed. I just could not! I did not care if they were my parents or not, no one deserves to go through the pain I went through. I could feel anger build up inside of me but I had to tame it.

"Pourquoi? Why did you hide it all these years? Why did you stop sending letters? Why . . . why me?"

  They both were silent. I wanted answers, I need answers. I started to get fed up with the silence.

"Les réponse, immédiatement! [answers, now!]" I yelled

  They both looked at each other and then to me. I feel the anger in me rise. I had to try to hide it for the longest I can.

"Harees, we will explain. Just, please bil hudoo. [calm down]"

  I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. When I opened I nodded my head.

"We did not want to give you to your grandparents but it was what had to be done. If you stayed with us, you would have been in danger." Maria said

  There was a long pause before I got my next answer.

"We stopped sending the letters because people started to notice. We did not want to stop but we had to. We were trying to keep you safe."

  There was silence in the room. I had to process the information that was just given to me.

"Why did you have to hide me? Je ne comprend pas. [I do not understand]"

"Because we were never supposed to have you." Mentor said

"Now you are saying I am a mistake?!"

"It is not like that Harees!"

"It sure sounds like it!"

  I started yelling again. I took in a deep breath and let it out trying to tame the angry beast that is in its cage trying to get out. Once they saw that I was calm a bit they explained further.

"Harees, we never really expected to have a girl and when you came out and we saw that you were a girl, we knew that if you grew up with us, you would end up a house maid for some good for nothing guy." Maria explained

"So, after you and your mother recovered after birth. We went to Acre and gave you to your grandparents. We knew that you would be safe and if you wanted to, you could fight for freedom. We would have come and get you but you came to us." Mentor continued

"What do you mean, 'I came to you'?"

"That is exactly what I mean. You must remember that day. The day you came into Masyaf."

  I remember that day all too well. I spent hours trying to find the place. I closed my eyes trying to forget that memory but it kept flashing back in my mind. I shook my head trying to forget the memory.

"I had not planned on you being my student, but the trainer said I would make a perfect fit to be your Mentor. I did not argue and I took you in under my arm."

  Silence again. I was trying to process the information I was given. As I remember it, everything just happened so quickly. It seemed that one year I was training the next, I was training with Mentor. Then the angry beast started banging on its cage trying to get out slowly.

"Did you know that I was your daughter when you took me under your arm?"

  Silence.

"Merde! Et tu n'ai j'mais a dit a moi! [shit! And you never told me!]"

"I could not!"

  I let out a laugh of self-pity.

"Even after all of this, I still do not know your name!"

"Altaïr . . ." he said in a whisper

  I was silent. The man sitting beside whom was my Mentor and my father is also the head of our Creed! Great! Maria had been silent this whole time and now it was her turn to speak up.

"This is why we could not tell you." she said it so softly and in such a quiet whisper, I hardly heard her

"You could not tell me that my father, whom is almost my Mentor, is the head of our Creed!?"

"Non, ont ne peut pas. [no, we could not]"

"You know after all this; you never asked me once how life was without you guys?"

  There was silence so I spoke up.

"Do you know what it feels like to not have parents to guide you? To have no mother to show how to do basic things around the house? To have no father to show you there is always a man in your life whom will love you? I had to figure everything out for myself! When I was a kid, I always wanted someone to tuck me into bed and tell me they loved me . . ."

  My voice broke and then fell. I had to get out the rest before one of them spoke up.

"But you want to know what the worst part was? It was that I thought you guys would come and get me. I always knew you guys would but you never came. You never came to the door to come and pick me up. I had no parental figures in my life and ever since I was five, I promised myself, I would never let anyone love me because of what you guys did to me. Because of you, I never even believed that my grandparents were my grandparents! It was me and only me since I was five . . . I put up a wall so no one could get in! By the time I was ten and figured out what my last name meant, I thought that my parents really did hate because my last name is 'Daughter of no-one'! You guys made me hate myself!"

  There was silence. The beast was out and there was no way to tame it. I had to say my last words and get out of here before the beast got out of control. I lifted up my sleeves so that they could see the scars on my arm.

"You did this to me . . ." I said in such a quiet whisper, it almost sounded like the wind just whistling

  I got up and not one of my parents had stopped me. I headed out the back door and rolled down my sleeves. I walked through the snow and walked in the stable. I unhooked my horse and got on it. I tapped my foot against the side of my horse and it started running. I did not know where I was going but I had to just get away from here. My horse started to slow down the pace a bit before my horse stopped. My vision blurred from the tears that rolled down my face.

  I looked ahead of me and there was snow piled high. I know that even if I asked my horse to, my horse could never jump that or go through it. I just sat there crying my eyes out. My horse was shivering underneath me. I just lay on my horse and hugged it. I knew it would not do much to keep either of us warm, but it was the only thing that I could think of that would keep us both warm.

  I got down from my horse and then sat down in the snow. I started to laugh thinking about what had just happened. I started laughing like I could not stop. It was one of those self-pity laughs. I think the other part that I was laughing at was that I was probably going to die out here. No one was going to come and get me and I knew that. They would not come get me because they do not care about me that much and Darim would not come and get me and neither would Qulan. They have better things to do than save me from my death.

  I looked up at my horse. My horse made its way over towards me and lay down beside me. I guess my horse also knew its time was up. I started to brush it and watch it close its eyes. I was starting to shiver a lot more than a minute ago. I lay down in the snow and cuddled myself in a ball. My eyes are starting to get heavy. I heard a horse come in my hearing. I looked in the direction the horse was coming from. I saw someone on a horse but I could not see them, my vision blurred from the snow falling and from my eyes getting heavy.

  I closed my eyes for a second and next thing I knew the person was right in front of me. I closed my eyes for another second and then I heard another horse coming closer while the person on the first horse was still standing in front of me.

* * *

  It felt like I only closed my eyes for a second when I saw a battle going on in front of me. My vision was totally blurred and I could not make out anybody. I tried to open my eyes to get a better view but the snow kept piling on and on. I started to feel my eyes get heavy again. I saw swords swing all over the place. I tried to move my body, but I could not. It was as if I was not in control of my body anymore.

  I just kept looking at the crowd around someone and saw swords and bodies flying everywhere. My eyes started to get heavy again and I let them shut. I was not fighting myself anymore. If this was it for me, then it was it. I was done and the last thing I said to my parents was that they caused me to hurt myself. 'I was the greatest daughter' I thought sarcastically. Then something made me jump awake for one second.

  I was . . .



  I was . . .


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Annnnnd, she's dead! Well, it was a good story while it lasted!

The song on the side is just something I kind of thought went along with her emotions. Either way, it's a good song and you should all check it out anyway!

-hey895