Just can't let her go {Punk Louis Tomlinson fanfic}

All These Scars You See Through {Chapter 9}

A/N: GUYS. 1.3K. I'M LIKE FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AT THIS POINT. To be serious for once in my life, I am so grateful for you guys. I remember writing this and thinking it was amazing when I got 100 reads, when I got my first vote, and my first comment. I also know that I am as overjoyed now as I was then for every read. I really want to cry actually, because I've never had such luck with stories, and I feel so blessed to get this much. Still, if you guys tell your friends about this story, I would appreciate it more than anything! I LOVE YOU BBIES, AND I JUST HAVE TO SAY, NOTHING FEELS LIKE YOU (; OH AND I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT, BUT THIS IS GOING TO BE EXTREMELY SHORT, AND WILL BASICALLY JUST BE THE TALK LOUIS AND EL WERE GOING TO HAVE. I COULDN'T FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT ANY LONGER AND THIS IS WHAT I MANAGED. I'M SORRY I COULDN'T INVOLVE THE OTHER BOYS OR ANY OTHER OC'S. SORRY SORRY SORRY. BUT YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THERE'S TONS OF ELLOUTT GOODNESS IN HERE. DOUBLE UPDATE ISN'T REALLY A DOUBLE UPDATE, BUT I'LL BE UPDATING TOMORROW TOO. WARNING FOR NEXT CHAPTER: IT MAY POTENTIALLY GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK AND MAKE YOU WANT TO THROW FRYING PANS AT ME. SORRYNOTSORRY. Fun fact #3: I wrote the main parts of chapters six and seven during a math test. I also failed that math test. Coincidence? c; AND NOW A LITTLE TASTE OF MY HEAVEN; CHAPTER 9~

I was now back in my room, my earbuds and listening to the Killers while I stared at the ceiling. I narrowed my eyes as I listened to the lyrics. You play forgiveness, watch it now- here he comes!  Almost as if on queue, I looked over to my balchony and saw Louis straighten up with his back to me. As he turned to face me, my breath hitched at the next lyrics. He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he- talks like a gentleman. Like you imagined when you...were youuung. He smiles as I hop up, pulling out my earbuds and deciding to ignore how realistic those lyrics were. "Well, maybe the gentleman part is a little far fetched..." I muttered as I unlatched the lock and swung it open, forcing a smile. I tried not to think about what had happened just hours before as I uncomfortably pushed some stray hair out of my eyes. "What's up Lou?"

His smile faltered and then he looked up for a second. It's okay if I come in, right?" I nodded, not able to say much at the moment. He stepped in wordlessly, looking at my bed and plopping down with a bounce. I looked at him  quizzically and sat down at the foot of the bed. "Ellie, I..." He stopped and looked into my eyes, and once again I was exposed to the raw motion. His walls were down and I wish i knew what he was trying to tell me so I could comfort him about it. He pursed his lips and his eyes closed tight, a look of pain crossing his face before he ran a hand through his hair. "I need to tell you a few things." He said and scooted closer, causing my pulse to accelerate slightly.

"I know I told you that I want to take my sister away...but it's partly because of my father." He lets out a sigh and tosses a glance to my window. "My dad is the owner of a big business...that's why I'm sort of  'popular' around school. Everyone knows, and they're just overly infatuated with being socially valuable. It makes me sick, because they don't know anything about the truth." His voice broke off at the last word and he looked into my eyes, as if searching for something. I couldn't help but wonder if he was finding it. "M-my dad...he expects Lottie and I to be perfect; to live up to everyone of his fucking expectations." He says in a growl, as if having to say the words makes him sick.

"I'm a disappointment to him." He says softer, looking down at his hands which were lightly trembling. "So I act out. I figure, if he's already going to hate me then I might as well make myself known. And I am." He gives a cold laugh and shrugs. "But my mum... I-I can't even look her in the eyes. I know I'm hurting her too...but I want to make it clear to my father that I will NEVER be the boy and business heir he wants me to be." He says, looking deep in thought. "Is it normal, Ellie?... frankly, since I've met you I've been rethinking my decisions alot." He said quietly and I wondered if he meant to say that out loud even.

"I can't tell you how to live Louis...but if you really care about what I have to say, then..." I put my hand on his daringly, seeing his eyes widen and shock flash across his face. He tore his eyes away from our hands and to my eyes, confusion and a look of helplessness etched in his features. "Don't let go of the people you love. There's alot of things that are only skin deep, but scars aren't. I'll always have to remember being unwanted, and I-I think you will too." His eyes softened momentarily and I felt his hand grasp mine. "But if you don't want the scar of hurting one of the people you love most, you should talk to your mom. Tell her what you're thinking. Not that I'm not glad you came to me, but I think she needs to hear it. If you love her this much, she must love you just as much."

He smiled softly and I felt my cheeks heat up. "S-sorry if i babbled, I do that alot." He laughed under his breath and reached his hand up slowly. I swear, at that moment time slowed down as he placed his hand on my cheek. His hand was more steady and there was a growing confidence in him as a nervousness was growing in me. "What are you doing to me, Ellie?" He said in a hushed tone as he leaned forward slowly, as if waiting for me to push him away. His eyes trained on my lips and he licked his in anticipation. "Louis?.." It came out as a question, even though I knew what was happening. He looked to my eyes temporarily and smiled; a smile that made my heart do flips and leap into my throat. My eyes fluttered closed and I felt his shallow breath drawing closer.

This made me smirk a bit. I knew that he was a s nervous as I was, but he was trying to put up his 'I'm so cocky you'll never know that i'm secretly scared'  Louis act. I lightly placed my hand on the place where his neck and shoulder connected and pulled him closer. I felt him gasp lightly and right when our lips were about to meet, I felt his phone buzz.. My eyes shot open in disappointment as he muttered curse words, snatching up his phone. There was a silence before he looked at me, slightly flushed. "I... I have to go." He said slowly, looking into my eyes and stood up. I tried not to look upset and forced a smile, hoping up and opening up the door to my balcony. "It's fine louis, i get it! I'll see you tomorrow." I said with a sticky sweet smile.

"Ellie." He said in a groan and sluggishly walked toward the door. "You're upset." He said tersely and placed his hands on my shoulders. I let my smile drop ito a frown and nodded. He twisted his lips up and then tooka breath in through his teeth, making a slight hissing sound. "I'm not going to go to school tomorrow and pretend as if this didn't happen, if that's what you were planning." He said skeptically. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, pushing his chest softly. "But really, I don't know what this is but... please don't pretend it isn't there. That kills me." He said tenderly, pushing some of my hair behind my ear. "I won't." I smiled softly and looked into his eyes. He leaned down again and I closed my eyes expectantly. I heard him chuckle before I felt a pair of warm lips rest on my forehead. I open my eyes softly and saw Louis pull away smiling nostalgically. "I'll see you tomorrow love." He ruffled my hair and walked out onto the balcony, leaving me feeling expectantly cold.