Do I Love You?

Truths of my cuts and scars

I woke up in bed. Sweating and screaming. Niall ran in with a bat. Then Liam with a batman boomerang, Zayn with a lamp (-.-) Louis with a pillow, and Harry with nothing. They all ran in. Niall jumped on the bed and kneeled over my stomach. His nose touching my nose. "Are you okay?" Niall asked. "Just a bad dream" I sniffed. He turned around to the lads and told them he was going to stay with me. They all said goodnight and when back to bed. I was only 1 in the morning.

"That's almost 5 times in a row every night Gaby." Niall explained. "I keep having a dream where Jessica died and it's my fault." I told him. He lied next to me and pulled the blanket over our heads. He kiss me very softly and told me nothing bad is going to happen. Soon the kiss turned into a make out session. While we were in the middle of kissing his hand slipped up my waist and into my shirt. I stopped kissing and backed up.

"I'm sorry." Niall quickly said. "No it's fine. It's just have this thing...." I said awkwardly. "No sex before marriage?" It like Niall read my mind. "Yea..." "It's okay" He kissed my and said goodnight.

-6 Months later-

Well I'm getting ready for the year round tour with the boys. We leave in about 30 minutes. We have a bus to take us to our first stop- I don't know... They are playing somewhere in England, but I don't know where. How exciting. Jessica is still okay. She finally found the right guy. His name is Zac. So she should be fine.

"Gaby!" Liam called. "It's time to go!" "Coming!" I yelled. I grabbed my bags and went outside to see a huge bus. Liam and Zayn were outside the bus waiting for me. Oh by the way I totally ship Zaim. Lol okay... Back to the story. "Alright I'm ready." I got inside the bus and Liam and Zayn got in. Paul came in too.

- 5 minutes into the ride -

I tried to have a small talk with Paul. It was okay. I just don't want it to be awkward.

Me: Hi Paul.

Paul: Hello Gaby. What can I do?

Me: Play with me!

Paul: umm.. I don't know how to respond with that.

Me: Come on Paul! The boys are sleeping! Lets just chill and play some Mario Kart.

Paul: Well... I guess okay.

I grabbed the two wii remotes and handed one to Paul. I turned on the game and pressed start.

- 20 rounds later -

It was a tie. He won 10 races and I won 10 races. By then it was only 5:23. That was quick. I told Paul thank you or playing with me and went to the bunk beds.

There was two beds stacked. One for Liam and Zayn. One for Louis and Zayn. And One for Niall and I. I tired to be silent but Liam isn't such of a heavy sleeper.

"You scared me Gaby." Gosh his sleepy voice was hot. "I'm sorry, go back to bed sleepy." I slapped him soft of the cheek. "I can't, you already woke me up. Once I'm up, I'm up." He explained. "So...what do you want me to do about it?" I asked. "You wanna watch a movie?" He asked. "Not Toy Story." I said seriously. "Fine." He said and gave me a sad face.

It got instantly hot, before we started the movie I went to go put on some shorts and a short sleeved shirt. The scars on my wrists and arms never went away... they've only gotten darker. When I went to go sit next to Liam, he saw scars. I could tell he felt sorry by the look in his eyes, I new I shouldn't have worn a short shirt but dam! it's hot! Liam motioned to me to give him my arms. I looked down at them and counted at least 20, 10 on each side. Then he did something that was kinda weird.

He started kissing every one of them. I got little butterflies in my stomach when he got higher up my arm. When he was done I sat down next to him. Which made my shorts go higher up my leg showing more scars. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath. "This is too much Gaby," He stared. "Why so many scars?" He asked. "U-umm..." I sighed, might as well tell him. "I self-harm myself. I was diagnosed depressed when my parents died and I would cry myself to sleep." I explained. "But- you always look so happy, and you're always smiling." Liam stated. "I fake it. I don't want anyone else knowing and thinking I'm an attention seeker." I stood up and went to the other couch and curled up in a ball.

He stood up. "Where else?" He demanded. "What?" I asked. He got mad. "WHERE ELSE?!" All the boys woke up to see what was happening. "What do you mean?" I asked again. "WHERE ELSE DO YOU HAVE CUTS AND SCARS?!" I look over to the boys. "I can't show all of them." I whispered. Harry came up to me, "You have more?" I shook my head yes. Liam had all the guys sit down right across from me. "Show us." Liam said. "Fine." I huffed.

I showed them my wrist, I pulled my shorts up a little bit, I showed them my shoulders, and my stomach. Their faces were...priceless. I looked down and saw a little cherry red coming out of my stomach. "Those l-look fresh G-Gaby..." Lou trailed off. "I know" I whispered. Liam whispered something to Harry, Harry whispered something to Louis, Louis whispered something to Zayn, and Zayn whispered something to Niall.

I pulled my shorts down, and fixed my shirt. I look at the boys. They all stood up and started looking around the bus. "What are you guys doing?" I asked. Zayn came back from looking,"For sharp things, so you can't do this."

They were going to find my blades. No, no I can't let them. It's bad enough they probably think I'm crazy! I need to do something. "NO!" I yelled. They all stopped. "Don't touch anything,"

"I'll get them myself."

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