101 Reasons (A HUNDRED AND ONE REASONS NOW AVAILABLE IN BOOKSTORES)

Reason Number 20

Sometimes,

The person you really need

is the one you didn't think you wanted.

-thezombiewearspink.tumblr

My alarm clock blasted in full volume, I squirmed in my bed. Damn! I haven't even remembered setting it last night. I pushed the buzzer off, wait, I did not set it up last night. I made a mental note to scream at James. I stood up and went straight to my bathroom, I looked at the mirror to see that my face is back to its normal color, it's not pale anymore, my eyes doesn't show much of the vomiting episodes I experienced during my last cycle of chemo. I must be really getting well.

When was it? Was it last March that I learned about me having cancer? And how many months had passed? Six? Seven? I lost track of time. Now that I'm back, the slow ticking of clocks became more and more visible again. I am again becoming aware of life, of things to do, of deadlines to meet. Unlike before, when all I do is wait for something to happen. It was James' rapping on the door that made me move fast. I went down my hair tangled and dripping wet, and I shoved mouthful of pancakes in my mouth. I gulped down half of James' orange juice and he glared at me.

We were about to leave when my Mom rushed to the door and shouted, "Be careful in school." James and I almost laughed our heads off, it was the first time my Mom said something like that. Our bus arrived and as usual we sat behind, I realized that I indeed miss sitting here. It hasn't changed except that the whole seat is now covered with vandalisms. I ran my fingers to the different handwritings and then I stumble upon one that I recognize.

Reason # 11 because you make me appreciate the little things. You know who you are, Live for me.

I laughed; James looked to where I was staring then snickered, "Told him not to be overly carried away. How many reasons are there to complete anyway?"

"That's a secret. So how are you?" It's been almost a day about Cassidy's display of whoreness.

"Good. Why do you ask?" He answered unaffected. I don't believe him, when we reached home that night, we were expecting him to just get dress and we'll all go to the movies like he said we would, but he never went out of his room. We waited for an hour, Stan has to barge in his room just so he can tell him he's going, he told me he swore he caught him crying.

"Since you haven't talk to me for the past hours, I kind of felt that you are still bummed about what happened with Cassidy." I pointed out, but didn't look at him squarely in his eyes. Somehow I'm afraid to see him cry, afraid to see his vulnerability. I don't want to see James the least bit weak, I wanted to see him always as strong and almighty, because if he isn't I can't do much to comfort him. James hesitated to answer at first, he fidgeted and then sighed, "Well of course I'm bummed Ann, it's the first time I felt that kind of connection."

"Connection?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, remember Carly? The girl I dated two years ago?"

"The one you're obsessed about?" I had to laugh; he's not really obsessed he's just a little too overprotective. I thought they're already getting married.

"Shut up. Well, that's how I felt; I may even like Cassidy more. Shut up, here comes Stan's stop. I don't like the way he grills me with his stupid philosophical lessons about love."

"Make me."

The whole bus ride was bearable; Stan kept on telling how his handwriting is readable unlike James' untidy scrawl. That's when I saw James' handwriting below Stan's reasons. He wrote "like what." When we reached school I went straight to homeroom to see Lee still not there. I saw some brunette sitting on my usual chair.

"Hey, move! That's my chair." She looked at me and then rolled her eyes, if this happened then, I'm sure I would've pulled the girl out of my chair by dragging her with her hair. I took a deep breath. "Hey! You deaf or something, I told you that's my chair!" When I edged closer to her I noticed that she's not new. No. She's been in this school for as long as I remembered.

"I'm not really up to playing your games. So would you please..." I said trying to sound calm.

"Why Ann? Too sick to bring up the cat fights?" She said cutting me mid-sentence.

"No, just too tired stooping down your level." I retorted as I smile sweetly at her. You will never win Stephanie "Dufus" Arellano. She glared at me and I thought she would continue with her bitch talk but she left and moved far across the room.

"Too early for being your old ways huh?" Lee said as he sat near me.

"I thought, I'd be more refined coming back here. Guess my true colors can't just hide like they did when I was having chemo."

Lee laughed. "Yeah, you were so different then, maybe because of Stan's endless sweeping you off your feet gesture." I noticed that Lee kept his hair the way it was before, same with Stan and James. "Maybe."

"I really miss you, it's one lonely homeroom when you're not here."

"Sucks that Aya is such a nerd."

"Sucks that I'm a douche bag."

"Hey don't look at me, I swear I would do anything to pass math, seriously I was good at it then, you know that. Not until someone added x's and y's."

"Why are you talking about math? Chemistry is hell. Like balancing equations can save us from the real world. Seriously I don't care whether two hydrogen ions and oxygen make up water. Seriously, I won't go on ordering, two hydrogen ions and oxygen please." He rants, dismissing his hand here and there, pointing vaguely at some invisible parts of the air.

"Like dude, why would you even order water?" I answered in an "a matter of fact manner", and looking at him straight in the eyes as I try my hardest to keep my expression serious.

"Welcome back Ann Llanza." He said smiling from ear to ear.

"Go to hell Lee Kazama." I almost forgot why I liked Lee in the first place, he's half Japanese and I like how his eyes crinkled when he smiles. Same old Lee, and somehow same old me. It's a nice feeling that even though Lee and I had rough times, he's still here, sitting beside me like none of it matters, like nothing happened. He is still who he is.

And that's how friendship should be; you still have each other's backs no matter what. They are the ones you keep coming back to no matter what your past might be. And I am grateful to have such friends in my life.