101 Reasons (A HUNDRED AND ONE REASONS NOW AVAILABLE IN BOOKSTORES)

Reason Number 34

"Sometimes the only thing left to do

is wrap your arms around each other

one last time and then just let go."

— Gossip Girl

JAMES

I watched doctors and nurses come and go Ann's room, the doctor said she needs to be conscious and stabilized first before proceeding to the transplant.

"Hey, you should be resting; you'll be undergoing surgery too. Though it's only a minor one, still you have to rest." Cassidy said as she entered the room.

"I want to be beside her when the transplant is going on." I said again. I've been saying this all the time yet they won't allow me.

"You know you can't."

"I will make sure that I'm right beside her. Please just attend to her, I want to be alone."

The last thing I need is Cassidy lecturing me about health, about being alive while watching my sister battle with death. One of Ann's doctors came to me and told me to hold her hands, "Tell her who you are and talk to her calmly and gently, James. Call her by her name often. Assure her she's going to be fine." My yes was a mere whisper.

"But I should tell you." He said now facing my Mom and Dad. "Don't expect any miracles. She seems to be gaining consciousness, by the time she responds, we'll be able to push through her operation. Since you're the one closest to Ann, I can make some assumptions that your voice can help her battle through this."

He pulled me close to Ann's bed and made me face her, "Stand where she can see you, if her eyes open smile at her." My smile seems too stiff I'm not even sure whether I'm smiling or not, still I tried. I cleared my throat trying my hardest to keep my voice steady. "Ann, it's me James. I'm here. Mom and Dad are also here. Stan, Aya, Lee, Enz and Steph are all waiting outside. You fainted a while back; you're now in your room. You are going to be just fine. Ann – "

Her eyelids twitched. If I hadn't been watching her day and night, I wouldn't havenoticed that slight movement. Still she's trying to open her eyes.

"Keep talking." The doctor ordered.

"You already have your donor Ann, do you know that? If you stay awake, your operation will be done in no time." That time her eyes opened. Her brown eyes looked straight to my face although I don't know if she's seeing me since her expression is blank.

"Continue talking."

"Ann, I'm James, your brother." I said again. "I'm here. We're all here. And I'm wearing the stupid sweater you gave me last Christmas." I pointed at my sweater like a kid, trying to get an adult's attention. "See, the red one with Rudolph on it. Remember how much fun we had? Remember how Aya gave you a Calculus book? Remember the gift I gave you? You never opened it well enough but if you do, you could've found this key." I held a key making sure she sees it.