Abigail

Chapter 3

I sat in history with a grumbling stomach, shaking my leg like crazy and praying the class would end already. The girl next to me was staring, obviously hearing my stomach and there’s nothing worse than someone hearing your stomach growl. For me that is. I feel like if my stomach growls and someone hears, then they’ll all know I starve. And I don’t want anyone bulling me for my eating disorder.

                The new guy was in my class, sitting behind me and it made me even more anxious to get out. I feel like he’s staring holes through the back of my head. I need to get out of here. My whole body is shaking with anxiety and I can feel myself getting dizzy. I just want to run home and lay in my bed until I feel better. Then run a mile or two on the treadmill.

                “Abigail, are you alright?”

                I shook my head as everyone stared at me in confusion. I stuttered that I needed to go to the nurse and grabbed my things, running out the door and tripping on the corner. I don’t think anyone saw me fall, since the door already closed but just in case, I got up and ran down the hall to the nearest bathroom, locking myself in the last stall and falling to the ground.

                Everything hurt on my body and it wouldn’t stop shaking. I saw black fuzzy stuff in front of my eyes and attempted to blink it away, but it didn’t work. My body felt weak, extremely weak and I wanted to eat a whole pizza to make the pain go away. A plain pizza, large, all to myself with a nice big milkshake on the side. Oh God, I can taste it.

                I began sobbing, hitting myself on the leg for thinking like that. I took out my razor from my bag and made ten even lines on my thigh, nice and deep. My brothers think they took everything from me, but I will always have extras hidden.

                I watched the blood pool on my thigh and quickly grabbed some tissues, pushing it down hard on my fat leg. I continued sobbing like crazy, swiping the blood as the final bell rang. I need to get home before I pass out, but I need this blood to stop first. And it takes forever for the blood to stop.

                After twenty minutes it was safe and I stood up cautiously, holding onto the door as I gently began exiting the stall, trying not to pass out. I wanted to lie down so bad, in my big comfy bed, but I still had to get out of the school and walk home.

                Eventually I made it out of the school, walking as slowly as possible and stopping by the water fountain. I didn’t search for my brother as I ran down the sidewalk, collapsing in a pile of snow. I watched my breath freeze in the air and closed my eyes, standing up on my now frozen legs. I was seeing black again and it was getting bigger this time. So big, I couldn’t see anything else. I closed my eyes as I hit the ground and couldn’t hear anything besides a ringing in my ear.

                I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was a chair with clothes hung over the back of it. I tried to register which one of my brothers’ rooms I was in, but none of them had this much junk in their room. We were too poor to stock up on things we wanted.

                I sat up in the bed I was laid in, a black comforter thrown over me. I kicked it off and put my bare feet onto the dirty floor, groaning as I stood up wearily. My head still spun like crazy and my stomach roared to life. I need to go for a run on the treadmill to get my thoughts off of my stomach growling.

                The house seemed quiet, so I stood up and crept towards the cracked open door, peaking out and wondering whose house I was in. I don’t have friends, so I couldn’t possibly be at one. I don’t remember going to a party. Oh God, if I did I hope nothing happened to me.