Forbidden: A 1D Fan Fiction

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen:

 Three days ago I had never known what it was like to hear someone's tale of turning.  Three days ago I didn't have nightmares about it.  Three days ago, I never pictured life as a vampire.

After Lana had told me her story of becoming a vampire, I couldn't stop thinking about it.  I thought about it when I saw Harry.  I even dreamt about it.  Nothing could take it out of my mind.  In my dreams I felt the pain that Lana endured.  I felt her terror.  I felt her hatred for Liam.

I started to wonder if vampires had gifts like mind reading or seeing the future, like in Twilight, but when I asked Harry, he laughed.

"Of course not, love!" he said through his giggles. "How much Twilight have you been watching for the last few days?"

I felt my cheeks become red from embarrassment and laughed it off with Harry.  How was I supposed to know what gifts a vampire has or can't have?  I didn't plan on becoming a vampire anytime soon.  I couldn't imagine what life would be like.  Never growing old, never dying, forever wandering the earth.  

I wanted to grow old.  I wanted to die of something natural.  Hell, even murder would be better than becoming a vampire.  I loved  Harry and wanted to spend all eternity with him, but I couldn't imagine being a vampire.  I didn't even want to think about feeding on a human.  The thought made me sick to my stomach.

I was falling asleep in my Calculus class and started to lay my head down on my desk before Mary Elise thumped me on the back.

"Get up," she said.  I gave her the death glare and groaned as I leaned my head back up.  She patted my back and pointed at the problem on the chalkboard.  Our professor was writing a quiz on the chalk board and going around the room selecting certain students to answer a question.  I sighed and started to write the questions down in my notebook.  

Thankfully, the professor didn't call on me.  I walked out of the class drained and exhausted.  Thinking about Jaeson and Harry's Family.  Harry's Family will never get to know about us.  If Harry wants to keep dating me, he would have to eventually either leave the Family or tell them. 

Harry truly loved me and I loved him, but could I let him leave his Family for me?  Sometimes I thought it would be better if I just left and never returned.  That way it would be easier on him when I died.  Harry didn't know I have no intention of becoming a vampire.  He often asked what I thought of vampires and if I had any questions, but I always replied with the same answer: no.  

Harry thinks that I want to become one, that I want to live forever.  I don't want that.  I have always wanted to marry a human and grow old with him.  I always wanted to become a mother and a grandmother.  I wanted to live in an old farmhouse in Iowa and watch our grandchildren run across the prairie field.  My granddaughter's long, curly hair blowing in the wind as she ran away from her brother.  Their eyes bright with innocence and happiness.  

I often thought about what my life would be like if I chose to be a vampire.  I would be able to be with Harry and love him forever, but it would come with a price.  Vampires can't have children.  Harry could get me pregnant as a human and we could have a Dhampir, but the Dhampir would be an abomination to vampire-kind.  The Dhampir would be a monster, living as a normal human, but with the hunger of the undead.  

"The Dhampir baby would almost be like a goblin," Lana tells me.  "It's a strange being.  Most of the ones I have seen are quite bloody ugly."

I don't want a baby that would be a goblin.  I would want a baby that would be entirely human and not live with the thirst of the undead.  After looking at all of the things that keep Harry and I apart, I decided that eventually I would leave him.  It would be easier on him and it would let me have the life that I want.  Harry can give me a life, but not the life I want or need.