Life On The Rocks (Reposted - Feedback Wanted)

Chapter Four

     Jai slammed his hand against the wall, only just missing my head, making me wince slightly from the shock. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I've never seen him angry before but I've never been the cause. I was asking for it though, I should have known better than to anger an Alpha but I needed to get my point across. I tried to push myself off of the wall but he pushed me back.

"Where do you think you're going?" he growled at me, pinning me back against the hard surface.

"Let me go Jai." I said looking him directly in the eyes, hoping he wouldn't sense my fear.

He sniffed the air and his eyes grew wide, leaning forward he ran the tip of his nose along the side of my neck. Even though I wasn't truly comfortable with this situation, I couldn't help moaning slightly. Within a second Jai was off me and standing on the other side of the room.

"You're going into heat, aren't you?" he asked, clutching the edge of his father's desk.

"That Jai is not any of your business." I snapped.

"It is my fucking business Ray, you're mine and I don't want anyone else touching you." He snapped.

"You've got to be kidding me? How dare you say I'm yours, when a couple of hours ago you were screwing someone else!" I shouted back at him.

"Look Ray do you think this is what I want, do you think I want to be like this with you? I don't want this, I've never wanted this but there is nothing I can do about it. It's been decided and you are going to be my mate." He said not able to look me in the eyes.

I wasn't sure but I could have sworn I picked up sadness in his voice. Did he really think that I thought he did want this? Of course I knew he didn't, we were both in the same boat. Neither of us chose this, we were pushed into it. When we were younger and before we knew anything about this little agreement, we were as close as could be, even closer than Jai and Chris but that all changed. We're still friends but it's strained because of this whole mate thing and now I fear that friendship will be torn apart.

"Look Jai I don't want this either, you used to be one of my best friends. I looked at you as a brother, I used to be able to tell you everything but now I feel trapped." I said quietly, looking down at my feet. "I know this isn't your fault, as you said you don't want this but seeing you with her drove me insane. Knowing that you could bend the rules and I can't. It's ok for you to live your life a little before we have to be mated but I can't. I can't be with anyone; I'll never get to experience love." I whispered, a single tear running down my cheek.

I tried to hide the fact that I was crying from him. I hated showing any sign of weakness. I tried to wipe away the tears without him noticing but before I could touch my face he was stood right in front of me. He placed his fingers under my chin and lifted my face until I was looking into his eyes. He placed his hand on my cheek and wiped a tears away with his thumb, for a moment he was the Jai I remembered.

"Don't cry Raynie-Fay, I hate seeing you upset." He said as he brushed my hair behind my ear.

It warmed my heart to see that he still cared about me, that I wasn't just a burden that he couldn't get rid of. We looked into each other's eyes as another tear ran down my face.

"Come on Ray stop crying. I promise I'll do anything I can to make you happy." He said making me smile slightly.

He smiled back at me and slowly leant forward, kissing the salty tear off my cheek. As soon as his lips made contact with my skin, the heat inside me grew to fever pitch. My skin tingled and I closed my eyes trying not to moan out loud. When I opened them again I was surprised to see that Jai seemed to be just as affected as me, his body was trembling and he was panting slightly. We just stayed there looking at each other, not knowing what was happening to us. I could tell by his eyes that he was having an internal battle with his wolf, until they seemed to come to an agreement. He leant forward once more and kissed my cheek again, once more making my body tingle. His lips slowly moved down to my jaw and then to my neck. My skin was ablaze as his hands landed on my hips, his left hand slowly sliding up my side and until it stopped under my bare breast. As his thumb rubbed my sensitive skin I couldn't hold in the moan that escaped my lips. I had never felt anything like this in my whole life. It was pure ecstasy. As his thumb brushed over my hardening nipple I moaned louder, I could feel him smiling against my neck. Enjoying my reaction to his touch he pressed his damp, bare, toned chest against mine. He slid his hand back down my side and placed his hands on the top of my thighs, lifting me up off the ground. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist, making his hardened crotch press against my aching core. He took his lips off my neck and looked deep into my hazy eyes. We were panting heavily as we clung to each other desperately; I wanted him so much. I just couldn't get him close enough to me, I needed him, I wanted him and as soon as his lips came crashing down on mine, I knew there was no turning back.

As I started to feel myself waking up a small smile spread across my face, the memories of what had happened filled my mind. I stretched out, noticing a slight soreness between my legs. Opening my eyes, I found myself in my bed all alone. I pulled off my duvet to see I was wearing one of my baggy t-shirts, I couldn't understand how I ended up here. The last thing I remembered was lying in Jai's arms as I slowly fell asleep. Why wasn't he here with me now? How could we share something like that and he just leave me to wake up alone? I slowly climbed out of bed and looked at my alarm clock; I'd slept straight through to morning. I got up and slowly headed for my bathroom, turning on the shower, I peeled off my t-shirt and waited for the water to warm up. I climbed in and let the hot water ease my aching muscles. The longer I stayed under water the more I tried to figure out what had happened and what it meant. Did he like me, was that why it happened? Did he leave me because he was ashamed and regretted it? Perhaps he wanted to keep it between us without everyone getting involved. For all I knew he may have been called off on pack business, that must have been it. Finally happy that I had come up with the reason for his absence, I hopped out of the shower. Grabbing some clothes quickly, I got dressed into a pair of black skinny jeans and blue plaid flannel shirt. With a small smile on my face I ran down the stairs. Some members of the pack looked at me strangely, surprised to see me up this early. Normally on a Saturday, it was rare for me to show my face until after midday but today I had a bit of a hop in my step. Plus I knew I needed to speak to Jai about what had happened. Thinking about it warmed me but made me nervous at the same time. I hadn't decided how I felt about it yet, it was truly magical but at the same time what would happen between us now? As I got closer to the kitchen I could hear the pack talking happily, one voice in particular stood out instantly. Jai's. I paused for a second calming myself before I faced him, not sure what my reaction to him would be. I was about to step inside when my dad came towards me.

"Morning sweetie, you look nice this morning. Are you feeling better?" he asked smiling sincerely at me.

"Huh?" I asked, a little confused by his question.

"Well the last time we spoke you were in the middle of a hormonal rage. When you didn't show up for dinner I went looking for you. I bumped into Jai who said you were feeling unwell, that you went a little crazy due to your heat coming on." He answered, still smiling at me.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine thanks." I replied.

He touched my cheek and walked into the kitchen, leaving me with my thoughts. Is that how Jai felt, did all this happen because of my heat? Shaking my head and smiling once more I headed into the kitchen, instantly I wish I hadn't. Sat at the table next to Jai was Carrie and it didn't look as though they were discussing the weather, she had pressed herself into his side and he wasn't stopping her. They looked rather comfy, judging from the absence of her hands on the table she was probably touching him up underneath. I quickly walked over to the counter and grabbed a slice of toast, even though my appetite had left me as soon as I walked in. I sat down at the end of the table hoping he hadn't noticed me yet. I took a tiny bite of my food and it tasted like acid in my mouth. Even though it was making me feel sick I continued to try and eat it. I was just about to get up and go back up to my room, when it appeared my brother had finally realised I was in the room.

"Hey Ray when did you get up, I wasn't expecting to see you for breakfast?" he asked.

As soon as he said my name I felt Jai's eyes on me briefly.

"A while ago." I replied bluntly, not really wanting to talk.

"Come sit down over here with the rest of us." he said happily waving me over.

"I'm ok thanks Chris, I've finished my food." I said getting up from my chair and walking towards the door.

"Suit yourself; I'll come find you later." He replied turning back round to continue eating.

Before I walked out of the room I turned back quickly and looked over at Jai, he was staring right back at me. I couldn't quite place the emotion in his eyes but I was pretty sure he wasn't that pleased to see me. Realising that I was probably nothing more than another notch on his belt, my eyes began to well up with tears. He looked like he was about to get up out of his chair when Carrie whispered something in his ear, making him look at her smiling with the same hunger in his eyes he had for me last night. I turned away quickly and ran up the stairs to my room as the tears ran down my face.

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