The Dark List [Larry Stylinson Fanfic]

For The Best

''Louis

"Louis William Tomlinson, do you even like me?"

I can't believe what I'm hearing. In surprise, I half-shout in disbelief, "What?" He opens his eyes and looks at me. I look back at him and see his eyes have a glassy look, the tears in his eyes treathening to fall any second. He whispers carefully, "Lou, just tell me the truth." I stare at him in disbelief. I can't believe he can see what I'm trying to do. But I still won't let him be right. "Oh, so now I need to have a motive to be with you. We're bandmates, Haz. We're best mates." "Really, that's just it? How about your kissing me nonsense?" "It's something I want to try out, okay?", I say, breaking our eye contact. "Oh, so you just proved that you're using me." My mouth just instantly dropped. "What are you talking about?" "I know you're not gay, Lou. You're not someone who's willing to go out with a guy. Tell me, what's in it for you?" My mouth dropped more, if that's even possible. But I quickly regained my composure and replied with a safe answer, "You need therapy, you know that? Has anyone ever told you that?" Now it's his mouth that dropped. "What? Stop dodging the question, Louis." I looked at him directly in his eyes, to make myself look like I'm not lying. Because I'm not completely lying, I'd like to think of it as half-lying. "Nothing, okay? Nothing's in it for me. Just the pleasure of your company." He shakes his head in disbelief, stands up, gathers his things and walk away. I quickly stand up and take my things, too and followed him. "Harry! Where do you think you're going?", I scream. "Home. Or some hotel nearby. I'm allowed, right? It's not like we're together or anything." "Look, what do you want from me? Do you want us to be in a relationship? Do you want to make us official? Is that you want for me to do?" He stops, turns around, and faces me. "I don't know, Lou. What is us? Lou, don't you get that we is the only thing I take seriously again? I mean, if you don't get that...", he replies, air-quoting the word us and we. I quickly rush towards him, until we're about 10 centimeters apart. "Whatever you want, Haz. You know I'll do anything for you." He holds one of my hands and stares at me. "We don't need to be official, you know. I just want to know where we are now. That this is something." I sigh. There's just one thing to answer to this. I can't even believe I'm saying this. Betrayal is coming out pf my mouth. "Well, Haz, I fancy you, is that enough? Is that something?" He kisses me lightly on the lips and whispers, "It's everything."

''Zayn

We're now home from the mall. Not trying to look jealous and confused, I immediately lock myself up in my room. I get my small bag out of the closet, then I charge my iPod, but I click it on shuffle. I get all my things I came here with. It's pretty many, so I won't bother going to my flat for more. I think this will be enough. 

I then realize what's playing on my iPod. For a while, I sit down on a chair and took a piece of paper, and a pen. I started with a Dear Liam, then I listened to the words, wrote them down, and what I think of the lyrics, which I can really relate to.

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When I'm with you 
When I'm with you 
When I'm with you you you 
You.. when I'm with you 

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I'd like to think of it as a fill-in-the-blank. When I'm with you, Liam, I feel alive and happy, not the mysterious me that everyone knows. I become different, I become the person who I reeally want to be.
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What good's a memory 
Without you there with me 
The morning sun ain't the same 
Without you here 

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