Say You Won't Let Go

Promises

Normani and I leave math class and we walk right past the gym doors. Watching the gym doors stay closed makes my heart sigh.

Yesterday was when Austin had vandalized our lockers and Lauren wasn't at lunch and she wasn't in science so she must've gone home. Today, she wasn't here at all.

I've been trying to keep my spirits up, even though it's been hard lately. I don't know, I just feel different. I haven't been able to smile for no reason like usual. I feel heavy and low.

Lauren can't be able to do this to me. She can't have that power over me.

Yet, here I am, walking to the doors that hold the November air and scrolling through all the texts I sent her yesterday.

My phone: you okay?

My phone: you weren't in english or in science. I missed you at lunch.

My phone: come on, Lauren.

My phone: don't be like this. Give me a call.

My phone: I don't know what happened to you. We need to talk. This isn't healthy.

My phone: I know you are awake. You haven't been sleeping much. Please, Lauren.

My phone: come over. We can watch a movie or something.

My phone: get a pizza?

My phone: show me the town.

My phone: what happened between us?

My phone: can you tell me where we went wrong?

I shut my eyes as I finish reading the messages. Still nothing from the green eyed girl. It annoys me but makes me scared at the same time.

Suddenly, Normani is pulling me into a tight hug. It feels good to have someone that cares for me that isn't family. Dinah does, of course, and so does Ally but they don't know how I feel towards Lauren. Normani does.

"Call whenever." She says to me softly, smiling sadly.

"I will." I sigh as she kisses my forehead tenderly. She squeezes my shoulder reassuringly before walking away into her dance class.

My sigh echoes against the empty walls as I enter outside. Dinah is waiting for me, her features grave. But when she sees me, she smiles.

"Hey, Mila." She jogs over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. She must be scared for Lauren, as well. Her heart beats quickly against my chest.

"Hi." I murmur, my fake smile fading away almost immediately after I conjured it.

"You okay?" Dinah's eyes turn fearful, their light draining away.

This is the time where one has to lie to preserve the happiness of someone else.

"Yeah, I'm fantastic, actually. I'm really pumped about—" Dinah's phone dings, cutting me off.

"Sorry," she sighs, her eyes reading her screen. Her small smile disappears. "Man, damn. Mani wants me to grab her some pizza and wait for her at practice."

"Do you have to go now?" I ask, feeling a little nervous to walk home alone. Last time, I ran into Lauren.

"Nah, I can run by after I walk you home." She smiles brightly, grabbing my hand and swinging our arms. "You ready?"

The gears in my head begin to churn. If I walk home alone, I might run into Lauren again and then we could talk. I really need to converse with her. But, I'm almost scared to.