My Sexual Reality

The Perfect Storm- Chapter 14

Dear Diary,

Haven't spoken to Francesca much since the whole police and sex tape situation, she seems numb; I know she's hurt but she's refusing our comfort. Two days after it happened Isaac texted me to meet him at the park, he needed someone to talk to, someone who knows about their relationship. But, I wanted to speak to him more than he wanted to speak to me, we both were worried about Francesca and he was emotionally weakened.

We met in the evening at a bench that was completely shaded under a huge evergreen tree, fallen leaves crunched with every step. The park was lonely, perfect for an in-depth conversation. Isaac was already present when I arrived, sitting forward on the bench with his feet apart, staring at the ground zoned out with both hands clenched together. He was wearing a red V-neck and denim jeans, from the side, his biceps were quite the view, however, his facial expression didn't match his ripped physique, he looked dispirited, emotionally drained.

As I sat on the bench he turned his face to me, staring at me with tear filled crystallized brown eyes, so fragile looking. He didn't say anything but his eyes spoke a thousand words. After greeting me and thanking me for meeting up with him, he began giving me the detailed story behind everything that happened, the reason "why he recorded" their private moment. I experienced a roller coaster of emotions throughout the entire thing, especially the last few words which proposed confidentiality, begging to not tell anyone, specifically Francesca.

 I became conflicted, I wanted to keep his secret because he poured his heart out to me in return for my trust, but Francesca and I are best friends, we never keep anything from each other; I asked him why he burdened me with such a treacherous secret, but in the end, agreed to conditionally keep it.

-Carly

Immobilized by written words I sat temporary restricted from all happy emotions. I tilt my head up and Carly's eyes and mines fuse together, captivated by the disturbing reality. She's standing under the doorframe glaring at me with her diary in my hands as blackened mascara filled tears flow through her words. Rebecca's hand is on my shoulder trying to provide solace, but as usual, I refused her sympathy and consolation.

"You knew?" I murmured in a brittle, wobbly voice, looking at her with "Please tell me this is a joke" written across my face.

"Why are you guys reading my diary? She replies slowly, with a face of confusion, voice of betrayal and a swallow of guilt filled saliva.

"Are you serious? ... Why are we reading your diary? ... Is that all you have to say to me?" I responded with a slightly breathy hoarse tone and teary eyes as I get of the bed.

Regret covers her face as she surrenders the argument in realization that her proceeding statements would be to no avail.

"I'm sorry" she whispers looking down in submission but quickly raising her head back up, adding words to her apology.

 "But what did you expect me to do Francesca? You already invaded my privacy so you should know that I had no choice but to keep this from you, plus, you weren't speaking to us much at the time."

"Seriously? What about never keeping anything from each other? You know I was hurting for days and yet you didn't tell me what I wanted to know the most, what I still want to know!

I'm looking at her awaiting a response but she's just staring at me speechless.

Me: "Well?"

Carly: "I don't know what else I'm supposed to say Francesca"

"What's his secret Carly! Why did he record us!?" I blurt out roughly and demandingly, filled with emotion and exigency.

"I can't tell you that Francesca, it's really not my secret to tell, it's too complicated, Isaac should be the one to tell you" she replies relaxingly with a small degree of despair.