My Sexual Reality

Unmasked Secrets- Chapter 16

Lana Del Rey’s Blue jeans plays in the background as I stand in front of my bedroom’s window looking down through it quite in a statue like position, like a mannequin inside a showcase, at least that would be the view of me from outside. The recovery of yesterday’s surprise has been completely heartbreaking, in every sense of the word. My dad insists that I don’t see Jasper ever again but who’s he to judge, he’s the same one who I caught exchanging saliva with some home wrecking bitch a few weeks ago. I found myself overwhelmed with temptation to reveal his disgusting dirty little secret to my mother but I’m saving it for when I truly am in need to use it, to my advantage of course. You see, if it’s one lesson I learned from all my terrible experiences these past weeks is that you have to put yourself first or people are just going to walk all over you like a welcoming mat. The choice is up to you, are you going to let them in, or are you going to shut the door in their fucking face, I prefer the second option.

Instead of standing like a total moronic bitch in front my window, I no longer see the view of outside; I see my reflection in the glass, the emotionless face, the girl who feels like she has no control over her life. Desperately in need of sleep I manage to gather all my energy and walk down the staircase on my way to confront my father about Jasper, there’s no way he’s going to keep me from seeing him.

Facing the living room I see my mother casually sitting on the couch, watching television like every ordinary day. Except it wasn’t just an ordinary day for her, I know on the inside she’s still surprised from my surprise party just like everyone else, how ironic. I don’t think she’s against me seeing Jasper, she didn’t say anything since it happened as my father did all the talking, but she must be really confused as she’s the one who helped me get ready for my date with Isaac.

“Mom” I murmur in a sotto voce tone, by the way I sound you can clearly tell that I’m about to ask a question.

“Oh sweetie, what were you doing in your room so long I was worried” she responds in a relieved tone as she walks up to me giving me a brief hug.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do, you all surely did give me the surprise of my life, of course I needed time to ‘recover’”

“Well are you okay now? You look like you didn’t get any sleep” She murmurs in concern, trying to grasp eye contact but, let’s just say she’s no Jasper.

Looking at her my eyes get teary, my emotions are boiling inside and I need to release some steam. Giving her the eye contact she so desperately is trying to obtain I break down in her arms, releasing the steam, trying to tell her what’s going on but my words are not coming out so clearly as my voice is sorrowful and broken up from intense, rapid breathing.

“Its okay” she murmurs in a solace tone while patting my back to comfort me. I can feel her consoling energy throughout me and I can tell that she’s a hundred percent on my side.

 She lets go of me as my breathing rate reduces and walks towards the kitchen counter where I left my keys, picks it up and then places it on the palm of my hands, shutting my fingers close.

I look at her in confusion while wiping tear tracks off my face and murmur, “Why are you giving me my keys”

“Go over at Jasper’s, poor guy has been trying to contact you for hours” she replies sympathetically, demanding that I leave now.

“But, he didn’t tell me he was here” I murmur, raising an eyebrow totally in confusion.

“Well he was, this morning, but I told him it wasn’t a good time because your father was here, I’m sure he’s longing to see you so hurry up!” she replies encouragingly, I can’t thank her enough for being so understanding.