48 Hours | JB

AFTER: PART 22

Chapter 32

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"Here you go," Justin walked back into the room, clearly not noticing the silence that had occurred while he was away. He threw a sweatshirt to me but I didn't even flinch, all I could do was staring at Chris who seemed confused about my reaction. Finally, Justin seemed to notice that there was a slight tension built up in the air,  "What's going on?"

"I think I may have said something stupid," Chris squeezed his eyes at me, the worry building up in his eyes and I tried to say something but no words could come out of my mouth, "Shit, Sierra, I thought you knew. I'm so sorry."

"Knew what?" Justin questioned but he didn't have to say much more than that as he met with Chris apologetic eyes, seeing the same regret that I was noticing, "Oh no- Sierra, I-"

"How long have known?" I questioned but I didn't dare to look him in the eyes, I was terrified of seeing something I didn't want to see. I don't know really what I was expecting from him or from myself, right now, all I knew was that the pain in my chest was nowhere from disappearing, "How many times have you slept with me, knowing that no result would be made?"

"I think that's my cue to leave," Chris got up from his seat, which had me finally moving my eyes from him staring into space. I followed him with his gaze and sat how he patted Justin on the back, "I'm so sorry bro, I thought you told her."

"It's not his fault," I mumbled quietly, "I'm glad he told me. God knows how long it would've taken Justin to."

Justin sighed, ignoring my sudden attitude which I didn't blame him for and I heard Chris mumble that he would find his way out, leaving us alone to discuss a topic I never thought I would have to hear in my entire life, "I've only known a couple of days."

"Days?!" I cried out, my mind kept telling me to calm down because I did know that this wasn't his fault but I couldn't help to let the shock take over my reaction, shutting down any other sympathy for him, "Why haven't you told me?! I've repeatedly told you to sleep with me in order for us to get a baby, I said this morning-"

Justin stopped me by loudly yelling out, "I know that!" 

"Why didn't you stop me?!" I couldn't stop myself from letting the loudness come out of my mouth, taking complete control over my actions and I felt myself losing control. I wanted to stop, tell him that it was okay but my mouth kept saying things before consulting with my mind. 

"I was scared!"

I scoffed loudly, "Of what?!"

"Of losing you!" He yelled back, the tears suddenly welling up in his eyes and once again, I reminded myself that I had to try and calm myself down. It wasn't good for us to be yelling and I know that deep inside, this wasn't Justin's fault. I wasn't mad at him because of the situation, I had no rights to be but I was upset that he didn't trust me enough to tell me sooner, "I know how much you want this! I want this too! I can't give you what you want! It's my fault!"

Slow breaths finally came in turns with my words and I was beginning to feel the control come back to me. The more breaths I took, the more power I felt return back to my words. It was like a button was pushed in my brain and it was beginning to function again.

"It's not your fault," I whispered. I realised that I was still sitting down with my head turned towards him, I was leaning my arm on the back of the couch and I decided to get up despite my revealing outfit. The sweatshirt he had thrown to me was still laying neatly where I had placed it, too shocked to have had time to put it on. I didn't care, I walked behind the couch to stand in front of him, my hand making its way to cup his cheek, "You can't help it."