48 Hours | JB

AFTER: PART 26

Chapter 36

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The moment the bell rang, I completely freaked out. My nerves were making me nauseous and I was certain that in a second, I was going to throw up. I couldn't afford to do that right now, how Justin and I behave during the next couple of hours were going to be the final settlement to whether or not we can adopt a child.

"I get it," Justin chanted to me, causing me to nod and feel pretty grateful that I didn't have to expose myself to the adoption organisation already. It left me a few more seconds to myself, in order to gather my thoughts and calmness. If I could only get myself to take a few deep breaths, I was sure that the meeting with these people was going to be fine.

They had already warned us that there was going to be a lot of questions asked and that they expected us to answer every single one very truthfully. I had agreed to the terms, knowing that the subject of me being married to Benjamin was going to come up and even though I had spent half the day thinking of a great answer; I was still unsure what to say.

Justin had been the same, he was nervous about the whole thing and especially with the questions part. He mentioned to me that the thought of having to sit and explain ourselves to these people, why our lives are the way it is, was nerve-wracking for him. If this didn't go as we plan, and they tell us that they're going to decline us, then it would all be my fault. Justin doesn't have anything that would stop him from adopting, I'm the one who's destroying this.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Benjamin.

I really wanted to smack his head against the wall and wash his head explode into pieces under my hands but I knew that mentioning that when an adoption centre was coming over was really not the brightest idea. Instead, I pushed all my hatred away and made sure a smile on my face was showing. I wanted to invite them into the house, not scare them away.

"Here's the living room," I heard Justin's voice right behind the corner and two seconds later, he entered the room together with another person. She looked a bit older than us, with blonde hair and a dressed up outfit.

I instantly stood up and greeted her, shaking hands in order to introduce myself properly. She was smiling, almost to the point where I knew it was fake, and I noticed the little notepad she was holding on her left hand. It sent another wash of nervous butterflies down my spine and I tried to remain focused even though I felt like I was going to faint any second now.

Justin's hand went around my waist and I knew he was trying to prove how close we were without having to tell the woman who I now knew of as Emily. All three of us sat down, a slight awkwardness building in the room but I tried to shake it off by offering some coffee. She kindly declined which only caused things to get slightly more awkward.

"So," she glanced at us, going back and forth between me and Justin, giving each of us a warmhearted smile, "You want to adopt, that's lovely."

I could feel Justin's hand take a tight grip on mine and for each word she spoke, the grip got slightly tighter, "That's correct ma'am."

She brought out a bunch of papers that she had been packed with her in her bag, all of them being about different sorts of adoption information. It was a lot more than I expected but the way she gave us the information, in-depth discussion about what it's like, gave me the hope that maybe she wasn't here to throw a no in our faces. I could feel Justin's grip soften a little which caused me to believe he was thinking the same too.