Fanboi and Sootcase take the world

Act 1 Scene 3

Tomorrow arrived and Suitdace still wanted to have kids sos she knew t hadn't just been a cocaine-induced fancy f hers. She deicdied to tell Fan and Lightbulb about her futurw kids but they wer asleep. So she woek them up with an airhorn by steoking them both gently with it.

"Ahh, stop I was sleepy in my llovely bf's arms." Screeched Lightbulb immediatey going to drush her teeth because it was morning and she hoped she didn't still have bts of cocaine dust stuk in between them.

"Wat what though you were datin that Paintvrush guy/gal?" Suitcase creaked consufedly.

"Nah bro I am and they're my fav it's just Fan have big hot as well so we incited him into our relatonsip."

Fan lay like ofne of your French gals on the booth sofa, givimg a big wide smile. He shone nicely in the smooth heavenyl Cheltenham sunlight.

"Yeah and test tube."

"Wait I'm dating Test Tube as well??" askd Lightbulb with excited surprise. "hmmmHMHmmHm my golegshun is growing big now I hath collected the whole set of gender. HMMMmhmhjmMMm."

"Iw anna have kiiiids any tips on how to eithre conceive kids or steal the, from an adpton agency or buy them or whetever people do." Asked she (the suitcade).

"Steak." Said Fan.

"Yeah I agre adopting costs a big volume of cash so just take one or some shizzle." Lghtbulb said, casually breakdancung.

Suitvase nodded, knowning exactly what she had to do. She wrote a sighn sayng 'DUMP YUR UNWANTED/UNUSED KIDS HERE' and hung it outside the egg shop. Job done, she put on some rolerblades and spun into vehind th bar and waited as customers flooded in in a small stream. Givig her treadmark customer pealsing smile, she served 13 gin and tonics in jusr 22 seconds (most of them to Fan because he had alcohol issues), and 32 peach schanapps to people who had for ome reason ncome in at 9am to celebrate theire dog's brothday.

"Nobody gave in any kds." She said sadly, turning to Fan after a few hours of opening.

"That's rpugh buddy." He replied, dowining a straight pint of vodka.

"only one option eft. PREGONANTE ME. Somehow."

Fan spat put his second  pint of vodka.

"WHAT. No way, im nor ready for kids other than stupid fat Lightbolb."

"Oi, I heard that." Lightbulb hula-hooped frm the kitchen where she was frying beanas (I don't know why. She literally doesn't even work therw she just truend up help we cn't get rid of her).

"Get me pregonate."

"no."

"Yes. It cant be that hard."

"It No-Nut November tho."

Suitcase made a weird face that lookd thike she was try ngto scale the rock climbing wall at Gloucester quays lol.

"It involve man-cream?" she wondered.

Fan sihed and taught Suitcas about the womders of sex, as well as everybody in the bar who was unsure abut how it worked as well. He used a texbook and the episode of Miranda where she get drunkand climbs on Gary. Suitcase was shocc.

"Wow, I had no iea that sex led to prangency." She saided, as Fan fingergunned anf levelled up.

"The more you read the woree you know and the meore you learnthe more places you'll go."

And the whole bar clppped. That bar, grew up to be albet Einstein. But that's a tale for another day, children. And speking of children...

"SOMEBO DUMPED THEY KIDDIES!!!" screamed Lightbulb, hyping vback into the shop because she had gone out to vape sum cotoon candy cloudz. In the her hands she carried a shotgun tht had also been donated and shaid she was going to keep him. Suitcase squeaked and shot out like a bulle bill n Mario kart. Tere was indedd a kiddo. Suity cried.

"Oh my godsh there is THREE BEAUTYFUL KIDDIOS. I wish Ballon were here to see :'(" she did ezcitedly, picking up the boxof kids and running inside. "LOOK AT ME BOOTYFOL BRITISH KIDDIES!"

"That's is good." Sighed Fan, flossing on the bar as Lihhtbulb hyped around him in a circle. "Let me see the kids."

"Yeet."

Sootcase through him the box and he loked through to find one he liked. There were knly three do it wasn't diffivult.

"These are good quality kids. Why did someone threw tham away?"

The kids suddenly lespt out and started serving drinks. For some reason they mixsed a bloody ood martini so fan then hired them. At night, sitcase decides, they will sleep around me like chcikens and I will finlly feel loved.

ANOTHER PURE END TO FANBOU ANDSOOOOOTYSOOTSOOTOTOSOTSOOT  SEE U NEXTIME IN AC TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO