The Segment (Completed)

27. Make A Pretty Picture

Farrah's eyes fluttered open as she heard soft knocks on her room door. "Knock, knock," Farrah heard Charlie say softly as she rapped on her room door gently. "Farrah," she heard Charlie calling, "You alright in there, babe?"

Clearing her throat, Farrah called out, "Yeah, alright. Come on in." Farrah sank back into her pillows and got comfortable. "What's the time now?" she asked Charlie, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"It's 5 to 8pm," Charlie said frowning as she lay on the bed next to Farrah. Looking over Charlie saw Farrah was still laying on her back, her face towards the ceiling with her eyes closed. "Hey, you asleep again?"

"No," Farrah mumbled. "Just tired."

"Have you spoken to Richard yet?" Charlie asked, as she curled her body towards Farrah, looking at her.

"Charlie...tell me about Ben," Farrah said softly as she turned her body towards Charlie. "I feel like I've been such a shit friend lately; I've been busy with work and my own issues. We haven't really had the time to talk," Both women smiling softly at each other. Farrah could clearly see the happiness radiating of her friend and she was in awe at how light her friend looked. There was a different spark, a new type of confidence in Charlie's eyes.

"God, where do I start Farrah? You know how I feel about proper relationships. I've just been absolutely terrified of them.One night stands are easy, the expectation is minimal and there is no emotions involved. I don't have to worry about more. I always do my head in; thinking about the possibilities – like what if in a relationship a man can't handle my bad days, or what if I have a panic attack and he won't know what to do. Oh Lord, and the worst of it all; what if after experiencing all the bad days, and the low days, and the anxiety ridden hours, that a man wouldn't want to be with me anymore. And these thoughts just make my anxiety about relationships even worse."

Farrah watched as Charlie closes her eyes and exhales harshly.

"I've been in that position once before. Before I met you, it was in hospitality school and this boy, Max, just couldn't understand how I could be this big personality, the life of the party one minute and then completely retreat into myself the second we are alone. He didn't understand why there were days that no matter what I did, all I could do was cry. Cry and cry until my eyeballs got numb because bad thoughts kept swirling like a whirpool in my head. Mind you this was all before I went and got help."

Charlie's eyes blurred as her voice caught. She shifted and she laid on her back trying to blink back the tears. Farrah silently and motionlessly, let her tears fall as she listened to Charlie take deep calming breathes. 

"He just didn't get it. He constantly made me feel like I was being dramatic, or paranoid, or just an attention-seeking bitch. That there was never anything wrong with me, it was just my attitude. And God, did I believe that and hate myself. I would have these huge feelings or reactions to things and situations and then I'd have to hold them back. And that just fucked me up even more. The last straw was when I couldn't stop crying during sex. He literally left me as I was bawling my eyes out, naked in my room. He said, 'it was a shame that I was mental, because I was a real stunner'. It was a shame that I was mental."

"I really need to punch this Max kid," Farrah said as Charlie took a pause. Farrah wiped her tears with the sleeves of her sweatshirt, running it over her nose as well.

"Well, that was the day that I went and got proper help. So not only does he deserve a punch, he also deserves a thank you from me. He made me, in a really bad way mind you, realise that something was truly wrong with me. And I took that to heart and went and sought help," Charlie said breathing in deeply.