42. Can't Think Straight

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(unedited)

Farrah gazed into Richard's eyes and inhaled deeply as though gathering courage. His fingers brushing her skin like butterfly kisses as they wiped away the remnants of her tears.

"I...I...uh...," she breathed, as his fingers paused their movements and gently fell on her thigh.

Richard closed his eyes and leaned forward, their foreheads touching. He nodded signalling for her to continue. Farrah squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the warmth of Richard's skin heat up her skin. His fingertips that were in her hair were shooting sparks down her spine. His palm that rested on her thigh was hot on her skin, even with the fabric of her trousers in between them.

"You're too close, Richard. Way too close, baby," she breathed suddenly shifting backwards. "I can't think straight, when you're this close," she confessed as she made a move to shift from his lap. She saw the small playful smile bloom on his lips and she tapped him on the chest with the back of her hand, "It's not funny, baby."

He caught her hand and kissed the back of it as he released her from him hold. As he made to let go of her hand, she grabbed on and turned it examining it. She pressed it again asking him if it hurt. He shook his head, but he couldn't resist asking her to kiss it better

She looked him in the eye and gently placed a kiss on the back of his hand, never breaking eye contact. She watched as Richard swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. She put his hand down gently and they both sat on the couch looking at each other.

"Right," he said softly, swallowing nervously; "You were about to say something?"

"Rachel has offered me a job, so to speak," Farrah blurted, trying to gauge his reaction.

Richard nodded slowly. "Ookaaay," he dragged out each syllable as he shifted in his seat, trying to mask his disappointment, "I wasn't expecting that."

"I...It's...It's another documentary, baby. It'll focus on mental health, and how we view it...how we perceive it; how we perceive it around the world, really. She's already gotten funding and everything for it," Farrah couldn't help but feel excited as she spoke about it. This was it, this was her dream coming to life. "She thinks that our segment will start a whole new debate on mental health and she wants to get the angle in before anyone else does."

"That sounds amazing, love," Richard said but there was a sadness to his voice. "How long will you be gone?"

"I...How...How did you know that I would have to leave?" she asked, looking at him a soft expression.

"Around the world...," he quoted her as he shrugged, as if that explained it all.

They both sat in silence, as they looked at each other. Richard was the first to break it, "Congratulations love, your dreams are finally coming true."

"Thank you," she said softly, her eyes searching for something in his gaze.

"You haven't said how long you'll be gone?" he asked as his fingers somehow found hers and sat entwined between them.

"Six months," she said, her eyes focused on their hands.

"When are you due to leave?" he asked, his grip tightened slightly around her fingers.

She looked at him with heavy lidded eyes, "Two days after we air the segment." He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes trying to hide the sadness he was sure she would find in them. "Rachel, George and I have started scheduling interviews in Australia first. They are hiring Violet to fill in my spot and she'll carry on with the research and getting us interviews as we travel."

Richard was speechless. He truly thought she was finally going to concede to her feelings and admit that she loved him. But instead she threw him a curve ball. His lips lifted in a sad smile. He placated himself by saying that she didn't deny him when he said that she loved him. That should be confirmation enough for him.

"Richard...," she breathed. "Baby, say something," she said pleadingly in a small voice.

"You just...uhm...caught me by surprise. You'll be leaving two days after the segment airs. That's in two weeks," he said weakly. He watched as she nodded her head slowly, he brought their entwined hand close to his mouth and kissed the back of her hand again.

"I'm going to miss you," he said softly.

"You're not going to ask me to stay?" she asked in a small voice, after a beat.

"No," he said heavily.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because...," he trailed.

"Because?" she persisted.

"...Even though I want you to stay, to choose to be with me; more than that I want you to be happy," he breathed out. "This is your dream. You have been working on getting an opportunity like this from the moment you stepped into the BBCS offices. You earned this, and I am not selfish enough to ask you to give it all up for me."

Her eyes brimmed with tears again. "Shhh...don't cry. I think we've done enough crying between the two of us to last lifetime," he said gently.

Farrah nodded her head, as she smiled through her tears. Rubbing her face with the back of her hand, she sighed; "I desperately need a shower."

"Would you like some company?" Richard asked cheekily trying to mask his sadness. Farrah could clearly see the sadness radiating in his eyes. And she smiled at him as she shook her head.

"If I ask you for something, will you give to me?" he said tentatively as he looked upon the enchanting woman across him. Her hair, her makeup, even her clothes were a mess. But in his eyes, she was still breathtakingly beautiful. He could feel his heart feel heavy by just the thought of her being away for so long.

"Stay with me, after our segment airs...stay with me, stay until you need to leave for the airport," he said. He saw her lips part in surprise, and he continued shakily; "I promise you, I won't do anything that will compromise your faith. I promise you."

"I'll stay," she breathed softly, nodding her head. Richard laid another gentle kiss on the back of her hand before releasing it all together.

"Come on," he said as he got to his feet, "You can head on into your bath, and I'll order something in. We need to celebrate this progress in your career. Any requests?"

She shook her head as Richard pulled her up and walked her to her room door. She stood leaning against the door frame as she watched the Prince of Wales so comfortable in her flat. He was taking out the dinner ware and cutlery as he was talking on the phone.

She wondered after six long months of being away, could this be her reality or would it all feel like a distant dream that happened to someone else.


***

Guys, I tried...I really tried but I couldn't make it any longer than this. It's another one of those nights that I am falling asleep as I type.

As usual please share, vote and comment. I love getting feedback.

Another thing...i highly doubt this book will finish with 50 chapters. At the rate I am going it definitely looks more than that. Yikes.

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