37. Strength of Faith

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(Unedited – please read Chapter 36 first)

He felt Farrah squirm beneath him and he pressed himself harder against, groaning into her skin. Farrah's hands that were dangling limply by her side was now flat against his chest.

"Stop," she said, but it came out as a breathy whisper.

Ignoring it, Richard nuzzled his nose into her neck.

"Richard, please stop," Farrah said again, this time clearer. But he continued ignoring her tightening his grip on waist.

It happened so quickly that he felt as though he had whiplash. Frowning and with his jaw clenched, he looked at Farrah. Her hair was a mess of tangles and she was breathing harshly as she looked at him with wide, scared eyes.

"Did you just....did you just shove me away?" Richard asked incredulous, licking his lips. His hands on his hips as he looked down at her.

"I...I said to stop...B-b-but y-y-you didn't listen," Farrah stuttered wrapping her arms around her.

"Why?" he ground out. "Why stop? We were both enjoying it, so why stop?"

"R-R-Richard, it's w-w-wrong," she said, still a stuttering mess.

"How is this wrong? Why won't you let me love you?" he bit out. "How is me showing you that I love you is wrong?"

He watched as Farrah licked her lips and looked anywhere but at him. Her fingers caught in the ends of her hair as she looked for an answer.

"Richard...my faith...it...it...it frowns upon this..." she waved her hand at the space between the two of them and swallowed nervously.

"Bullshit," he spat roughly. "You've just woken up and realised that I can't offer you the perfect fucking fairytale, that the prince is defect and you want out."

"No!" she exclaimed with wide eyes, "That's not true!"

"That's right, it's not true. You've always known that I wasn't right in the head," he laughed bitterly. "You've never wanted me."

"N-n-no, baby..that's not true either," she said, her throat clogging up with tears.

"How convenient, calling me 'baby' again. Is this in a bid to make me believe you? Because I don't," he spat harshly.

"It's complicated, you've got to believe me on this. I've never not wanted to be with you. I've been attracted to you since the night we had dinner at Dishoom. I've wondered about how kissing you would feel like more than you know. I've dreamed about waking up next to you, in your bed, more than you can imagine." She said her eyes tearing up. "I've never not wanted you...", she whispered.

"Then let me love you," he said closing in on her. Threading his hand in her hair again he pulled her close, his breath warm on her lips, "You won't have to wonder anymore, you won't have to dream anymore."

He watched her close her eyes, and the tears leaked out. "I can't...please Richard. Please, stop this," she begged him.

"I can't. I need you," he stated that so simply that Farrah opened her eyes and looked at him in incredulity.

"You need me," she stated blankly. "You need me? You need me so much that last night, I found you in a right state – not with one but two women, neither one of them was me; touching you...groping you...putting their filthy hands all over you...is that your version of needing me?" she said her voice getting stronger, sharper as she pushed him away again.

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