Hamilton Academy: He's Always Watching

Part Three ~ Chapter Ten

"But we had reason to be on edge."

-Amy

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I knew that it was selfish of me to be mad at Matt. Really, really, really selfish. I didn't show it, but I was mad. After all that he had done for me, the extent he goes to to make sure all of us are safe. And yet I was still angry.

Not the kind of harsh anger that made me lash out at people, it was one that was quietly brewing inside of me. Nothing would come to it unless somebody else did something to tick me off. The problem was that ticking me off could come easily at a time like this, when all of us were so on edge. But we had reason to be on edge. Trekking in the woods for two days now, with the looming prospect of Mr. Grey hanging over our shoulders.

"Amy keep up."

Why was I mad at Matt? It wasn't the fact that he had hidden such a secret from me. I was actually mad at myself for that one, how could I not have noticed such a thing happening to my best friend? What kind of a friend was I to not sense something going on in his life? The trauma that he was going through? And I had known Kelly too. So sweet and full of energy. How could I have overlooked all of this?

What I was mad at him for was his reaction. His reaction when he had learned my secret, about how I had lost my virginity. He'd been so angry and hurt, he had lashed out at me so much. Made me feel so horrible and helpless.

If he had known that it was with Tim, I would of given Matt credit. Even when I learned about what Tim did I was disgusted with myself. Had I known what Tim had done.... I would've never had allowed what'd happened to happen. Ever. I knew Tim and Matt were once friends, but I'd thought that they had just lost touch or stopped talking. Boys can be like that. I stop to think for a second that something more serious could be going on.

But thats beside the point.

When Matt learned my secret, it was like all hell broke loose. But when Matt told us his, it was like he expected sympathy from us. I realized what I did was different from his story, but they were both big secrets we had all kept from each other.

How could he just expect us to be fine with it, when he himself had lashed out at me for keeping my big secret? I knew at the time he wasn't mad about what I had done, but the fact that I had kept it from him. Now the roles were reversed. And the fact that he didn't even stop to think we would be mad at him for keeping such things angered me. Because he had done just that.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I was surprised that this question was voiced by Andrew. "What's it to you?" My former thoughts left me bitter towards everyone. Not angry, bitter. Anger would come later. It was still rising inside of me.

"Well, I mean, if you collapse then I'm going to have to carry you." There was a slight smirk playing on his lips.

"Why would you be the one to carry me?" I asked with a daring eyebrow.

"Because Matt has the heavy backpack today. You wouldn't want to burden him with carrying you, huh?"

"But you'd probably just dump me in the nearest creek."

"Most likely. Yeah."

I rolled my eyes at Andrew, realizing that for once I wasn't angry at him at all. He hadn't done much to piss me off today. I mean, we fought, but that was just words. Maybe he was being careful around me. Then again, I could never tell with him.

"You guys aren't going to be too happy," Kyle called out from ahead of us. "Well, unless some of you are bursting with energy you want to get out."